Yesterday I asked my 4y/o what she wanted for dessert:
Her: If there's one tangerine left, I want that. If not, a banana.
Me: Oh, we got plenty of tangerines.
Her: Then I want a banana.
She's on track to become a programmer.
I accidentally gaslit my entire family when I was 9.
And they're still falling for it.
When I was a kid, my grandma used to babysit me during summer breaks.
One afternoon she was making bacon for lunch.
She threw it in a pan, turned on the stove, and sat down on the couch to wait.
A few minutes later she was asleep.
Completely out.
Meanwhile, I was staring at that bacon like a starving wolf.
So I did what any responsible 9-year-old would do.
I ate all of it.
Every last piece.
Then I looked at the empty pan.
And immediately realized I had a problem.
My grandma was going to wake up expecting bacon.
I had evidence to dispose of.
So I left the pan on low heat with the grease still inside and went back to watching cartoons.
About twenty minutes later she woke up.
Grandma: Oh no.
Grandma: The bacon!
She rushed into the kitchen.
Then stopped.
The pan was empty.
No bacon.
Nothing.
Just a little grease.
She looked confused.
Then looked at me.
Grandma: Where's the bacon?
And before my brain had time to stop me, I said:
Me: I think you left it cooking so long it just... disappeared.
Grandma: What?
Me: Yeah.
Me: It fried away.
Grandma stared into the pan.
Then back at me.
Then into the pan again.
And somehow...
She believed me.
Not only did she believe me.
She told the rest of the family.
For years.
Apparently "if you leave bacon on the stove too long, it'll completely cook itself out of existence."
Nobody questioned it.
Nobody challenged the science.
The story spread.
Fast forward more than 20 years.
I was at a family cookout recently when someone yelled:
"Hey, don't leave the bacon unattended."
Another person immediately replied:
"Yeah, remember what happened to Grandma's bacon?"
And that's when I realized something.
My entire family still thinks bacon can evaporate if you cook it long enough.
I have considered telling them the truth.
But at this point, the lie has been alive longer than some of my cousins.
I think it deserves a chance to keep going.
@pavyg apparently so. It's containing a substance on the monitored list, where they don't believe it's currently performance enhancing. Not to say it won't change in the future, a la Meldonium