Altiero Spaghetti

Historical EU federalist turned sustainable pasta lobbyist.

And contributor to the Berlaymonster EU satire blog.

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

Boris Johnson pulls out of UK leadership race, aiming to challenge Xi Jinping instead.

[Berlaymonster @Berlaymonster]

BREAKING: EU PLANS UK BAILOUT UNDER DRAGHI-LED GOVT

#fantasyheadlines

read more off of berlaymonster dot com.

https://t.co/kgHGUdA739

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

Russia says Loch Ness Monster to blame for damage to Nord Stream gas pipe.

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

So much fuss today about the EU's new Single Market Emergency Instrument and still no clarity about what it is. Is it a violin, a cello or a piano? #SMEI

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

Look at the absolute state of the union

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

Every possible thing that Ursula von der Leyen failed to mention in her #SOTEU speech today
THREAD (1/10,000,000,000)

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

After a summer molto caldo your favorite sustainable pasta lobbyist is back with the REAL text of the State of the Union speech as VDL delivered it #SOTEU
https://t.co/B0zHPKxL7N

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

Manfred Weber lives in his childhood school. What a weirdo.

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

I remember my first interrailing trip

[Taras Mishchenko @tarasmi]

Three amigos on their way to Kyiv

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

@AmericanEUDude No way!

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

Why is Ursula Von Der Leyen advertising Duvel ?

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

@SpinDriftTheory Hahahhaha

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

If Shakespeare had been an EU official:

"Exit, pursuant to a bear."

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

Isn't it weird how Von Der Leyen's 7 children are all named after Commission DGs?

There's the eldest AGRI, the high earner BUDG, tiny but influential SANTE, the nerd JRC, the loner COMP, the travel-loving EEAS and the hipster CLIMA.

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

Brussels says it will send Ukraine a "cutting edge" defence system known as G4S

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

After news of the Les Républicains party being unable to afford its €5 million campaign fees, its leader rebrands as Valérie Can't-Paycresse.

[Martini Seltzermayr @mseltzermayr]

BREAKING: Israeli spies hack @dreynders’ phone to find a list of impenetrable acronyms and lunch appointments https://t.co/8fd5fsMBQ2

[Altiero Spaghetti @EU_Spaghetti]

Who else is wondering how exactly Borrell will manage to screw up his meeting with Zelenskiyy?

[Berlaymonster @Berlaymonster]

BREAKING: EU UNITY NOW MEASURED IN 'EUCOSECONDS'

Scientists have discovered a new unit of time to define the period of EU unanimity following the outbreak of the Ukraine crisis.

#fantasyheadlines

https://t.co/by7dqzU9Om

[Berlaymonster @Berlaymonster]

It's not snow, it's a Special Meteorological Operation.