evn

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Weekend Magazine: 15-Second Meals http://t.co/DqLgAgW4UW

[Charlie Mahtesian @PoliticoCharlie]

Newt's white whale: the $1 million he still owes Moby Dick Airways from the 2012 campaign http://t.co/2uwBWq4F4B

[The Onion @TheOnion]

STATSHOT: Hottest New Tech Startups http://t.co/8MYDVVO0d2

[Slate @Slate]

The latest evidence that it's HORRIBLE to be an old woman in Hollywood: http://t.co/PCs1d488AV

[The Onion @TheOnion]

"Our data indicate that as many as 12 percent of these individuals will never make it big." http://t.co/Cy8RWv7S9s

[nathan fielder @nathanfielder]

If you're giving someone a Chipotle gift card today/tomorrow, film their reaction and upload it for me to see. thanks.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

In Focus: Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla http://t.co/27PWCtqpJg

[Al Yankovic @alyankovic]

Just trying to get through those empty, meaningless days between Breaking Bad episodes.

[Pitchfork @pitchfork]

Listen to @CCHELSEAWWOLFE's new album Pain Is Beauty via Pitchfork Advance http://t.co/zE6hy2HS4D

[Jeffery Burns @BigJeffB]

@bubbubzbounce last girlfriend was engaged to be married but broke up with me when I came out of the coma

[evn @E_chord]

@gunface1 digging it so far, some really cool guitar tones!

[eric wareheim @ericwareheim]

"TIM & ERIC'S BEDTIME STORIES" it's real and coming soon to @adultswim: http://t.co/MPGoxUxx1M T, E, & ZACH are BACK!

[evn @E_chord]

@StuffCCLikes @gracelandali those cool youth pastors in their late 30's love their soul patches!

[evn @E_chord]

@Evertune8 @espguitars preordered, can't wait!

[evn @E_chord]

@LaurenTMead phew!