Trump University Alumni

A Place for Former Students of the Great Sybarite Way

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@GuntherEagleman “Never heard of this guy, but any wannabe MAGA billionaire, who is willing to work hard to get the Epstein files out of these plebs minds- God bless them! Our Epstein School of Hedonism encourages Gunty to enroll in a few classes. They are expensive, but worth it.”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@WillCainShow @FoxNews @willcain “Will loves the butts to nuts from these pure Europeans. Lutnick and Epstein used to want every man to do this on the island. Lutnick and Epstein used to throw the best World Cup parties. Fox Sports just showed Lutnick next to Gianni Epsteiantino. Happy 250!!”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@XAVIAERD @ufc @GOP “Trump University Herschel Walker School of Negro Studies has a commitment to celebrating blacks who want to be billionaires, who will do anything to become a billionaire. A-N-Y-THING. Our separate but equal campus invites you to take classes - but only at our Compton campus.”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@seanspicer “Trump University School of Bone Spur Science invites you to come and address our incoming class, ‘47. The threat of these Iranian bone spurs is REAL. Although we here were never poor enough to enlist, we honor our veterans, by saying, ‘Thank you, for your service.’”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@RepBrandonGill “Trump University thanks you, wholeheartedly. This Epstein thing and the Big Billionaire Bill are just eating away at our core white maleness. MAGA men are not dorks, Somalians are the dorks. Gosh. I can’t keep my eyes off this Basil Fawlty LucksteR, No HOMO. JesUS loves you.”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@RepBrandonGill “We love this Basil Fawlty heartthrob here at Trump U. He openly denounces reading, of any kind- true MAGA, like JesUS level MAGA. Openly embracing racism will not keep you sexy, tho. We like to keep it hidden. Take some classes at our Herschel Walker School of Negro Studies.”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@TomDemmer @cbschicago “Trump University is looking to build a fuggin huge campus near Dixon IL. During our research your beautiful face came up, no HOMO. We’ll need everything a data center would need and more - that’s got to give you half a chubb, three quarters of the chubb. Call us.”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@RepBrandonGill “Your Basil Fawlty good looks keeps us at Trump University from looking away, No HOMO. You’ve got the right amount of intellectual capacity to keep yourself handsome, no HOMO. Your childhood library shows you’re MAGA, but it could be more MAGA. Just stop reading anything.”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@FoxNews @MattFinnFNC “The Trump University (Stormy) Daniels School of Adult Arts agrees. A blowie is a job. A handie is also a job. Both can lead to political careers, just like this reality show work of sexy Spencer, No HOMO. Our American JesUS, daddy Don made millions working for an inheritance.”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@RepBrandonGill @GOPoversight “Brandon please consider talking to our incoming class, class of ‘47, here at TU Guilianni School of Landscaping. Our newest could benefit from your unintellectual laymen ideas. Your Basil Fawlty good looks alone will give our men half-a, three quarters of a chubb, No HOMO.”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@RepBrandonGill “Brandon is a Trump University alumni, and a rather handsome one, No HOMO. He was a stud at our Limbaugh School of Rhetoric. I think he coined the phrase ‘No HOMO’. But as far as repaying ICE agents, these agents are all volunteer MAGA straight men, who LOVE Trump, No HOMO.”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@GunOwners “Thank you patriot. We encourage you to apply to Trump University (Adam) Lanza School of 2A Leadership. The courage you have to walk amongst the deadliest parts of America- Wellesley Weston and Wayland MA, with a 2A truther on your hip brings tears to me eyes, love you! No HOMO.

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@shnirk01133496 @FoxNews Legitimate as in WE made billions. And have the potential to make more. Trump University Gaza Strip, hello. Invest with us. We are winning every freaking day.

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@MyraMCox @Cho_Perspective @FoxNews “We here at Trump University know what’s best for America. It’s a billionaire’s world. If we need to see papers, then comply. This Asian kid might be MAGA through and through, but we don’t want to make any mistake. He would understand.”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@JamieMetzl @USJewishDems “Trump University Roy Cohn School of Jewish Studies wishes to invite you to speak to our incoming class of ‘47. The far left, ‘them’ as you say, need to be disavowed. Could you name names- we need to put faces with this evil. Thanks, and we’ll see you at the races.”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@FoxNews “Now, we only watch Fox Entertainment, and always support it. But, blocking the Strait of Hormuz is not popular with the American 99%. And we need their votes. Maybe Fox Entertainment could do a piece on all the trans-Iranians threatening US billionaires. Think about it.”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@FoxNews “Why are these coloreds allowed in the GOP? I get that they want to be billionaires. My ancestors didn’t fight a bloody civil war to make everyone a billionaire! I don’t even like that we are called the Party of Lincoln. He was anti-billionaire! Now, I only watch Fox, so FU!”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@FoxNews “I love his FU style toward non-billionaires. Every American’s dream is to become a billionaire, and Big Daddy shows us why. Perks include: access to trillions of taxpayer dollars, security from haters, and everlasting freedom from scrutiny. Better than JesUS (no billionaire!)”

[Trump University Alumni @EamonLinWexnkw]

@RpsAgainstTrump “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer was a stud here at Trump University Kardashian School of Law.”