M50 gridlocked.
Not a shovel in the ground for the Metro.
Luas expansions on the long finger.
Still no work on Western Rail Corridor / Navan Rail Line.
No solution to passenger cap at Dublin Airport.
But the Minister for Transport is opening… a new lift.
Yes, a lift.
“Let me get this straight, you can buy a burrito on an interest-free instalment plan?”
“That’s right, and we’re not even based in the Chipotle store.”
“So, you finance this by packaging the burrito instalment loans into Burrito CDO A, which has part of Burrito CDO B and both get put into Burrito CDO C?”
“Yeah. The original loans are backed by burritos. Chicke. Pork. Carne Asada. Whatever. But Burrito CDO C is a synthetic Burrito CDO. A CDO of Burrito CDOs.”
“Ok, let’s say we have an underlying pool of $10,000 in burritos. How much money could be out there betting on instalment loans and your synthetic burrito CDOs?”
“Probably $100,000,000.”
“C’mon! How much bigger is the market for burrito instalment loans than actual edible real-life cheesy burritos?”
“At least 100x.”
“That is fucking crazy.”
“No, it’s awesome.”
Fine Gael leader Simon Harris was approached during a canvass this evening by a woman who says she is a carer, and who said she believes the Government has "done nothing for us" | follow live: https://t.co/eUoCK3Qb5Y