Bushwick Gilgamesh

Discotheque and killing dogs

[Bushwick Gilgamesh @Ear_goop]

Spoorloos-ing at the Buccees

[: @sn0oozey]

This app rewards you bountifully if you tweet in the style of David Berman

[Bushwick Gilgamesh @Ear_goop]

@reallyevildevil Pouring my beer in an ice cold mog

[Bushwick Gilgamesh @Ear_goop]

@NOROlTHECURSE This works though

[primordial soup kitchen @fernbirg]

Here Bond, a cyanide pill disguised as a mint. You can use it to kill yourself in a pinch. And this Bond, is your watch. It’s fitted with a detonator to kill yourself if necessary. And of course your gun, the Walther PPK. Only one bullet though so save it for if you’re captured.

[michael @worstmichael]

thinking about the time I chatted with a beautiful woman at a party and the next day she messaged asking if I wanted to get coffee and I said yes and when we did she was like “I’m worried about you and thought you might need a friend”

[audrey @phlegmme]

Choosing a good karaoke song isn’t about what other people might want to hear. Their needs should never even cross your mind

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

I cannot stop thinking about this video

[Californian Rōnin @akalanaatha]

@zweiwalker89607 My buddy Galdran, a Dunmer follower of the Tribunal and the Three Good Daedra: Ah the Moon and Star, a room reserved for the Nerevarine. I’ll do skooma in the room of Magnus, for the tribe unmourned.

[Gunnery Sergeant Kabar @GnySgtKabar]

hands down my favorite Jackass bit

[dandelion georgism 🔰🏗 @DandyGeorgism]

Hell exists and everyone who dies goes there because the one true religion was a spider cult in eighth century Cameroon that peaked at 400 members and died out a few decades later and it had a bunch of really specific rules about spiders.

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

It’s crazy they still ate like that in Louisiana before they had AC

[Young Galaxy @younggalaxy]

Angine De Poitrine are a children’s band. Yo Gabba Gabba for 61 year old Primus fans

[Bushwick Gilgamesh @Ear_goop]

@JohnWakefieId It’s because they can communicate so fast

[girlboss mageboss guildboss boss boss sacha @thugmajesty7]

let’s get lost tonight you could be my white Rick Ross tonight

[Losing it @prophethusband]

(Texting friend a pic of the fattest guy I’ve ever seen) Your dad lol
[no response for 2min]
just playing Lol not your dad
[no response for 5min]
I am so sorry. Your father has a Lion’s heart. He raised a champion

[Handsome B. Charming @CTachio83984]

my lightswitch off voicelines:

"Return me to the darkness"

"So falls eternal night"

"A comforting cloak"

lightswitch on lines:

"Lets shed some light on the situation"

"These lands are not so sinister under light of day"

"REVEAL YOURSELF!"

[Bushwick Gilgamesh @Ear_goop]

@gunkbadunk @punishedcornpop @teethgnashing No one wants to admit that you’re right

[: @sn0oozey]

Can anyone else feel everything slipping away

[never better @wiremxther]

in high school my friend took either lsd or shrooms and halfway into the movie he sat up really straight and got really scared and said "guys... im a glass of water...." and i took my straw out of my drink like i was gonna drink him and he got up and tried to run without spilling