Earlie Mcilrath

My own seat is at movie theater

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

People know this, and steer clear of me at parties

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

It is not what they say about you, it's what they whisper

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

I try to make my words soft and tender for tomorrow I may have to eat them

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

Even at a Mensa convention someone is the dumbest person in the room

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

A vibration is a motion that can't make up its mind which way it wants to go

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

You've ever come home and found crime scene tape across your front porch

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

You have to steal your neighbor's paper to see what the date is or you are out of toilet paper

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

When climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your skirt!

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted condom

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

I say it's more about the state of your body

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

I say it's more about the state of your body

[Earlie Mcilrath @Earlielh82]

A vibration is a motion that can't make up its mind which way it wants to go