The Spider

Ummm... I like... webs...? That's, umm... that's about it. Also a kickass Hero!! Or... Menace? Depends on who you ask. (P.S.: Love me and get a signed balloon.)

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@TheMainGuardian No, I, uh. I heard your name was "Peter". Only a... a stupid guy would.. would have that name...

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@TheMainGuardian What kind of a name "Star-Lord"? Your real name must be /really/ stupid!

It's.

It's what now?

Oh.

that's embarrassing

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

It makes me spider-uncomfortable to see young, hot Carrie Fisher. She's like, a grandma to me

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@ABlindDefender // Need a main Spider-Man

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

Um, so Flash Thompson (bully at my school) just told me I looked like Paul Ryan.

I. I don't.

WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

Hey! That's... that's just /mean/. https://t.co/yQ7aZi7L6f

[Elizabeth Braddock @LadyBriton]

"I see Spider-Man is still a menace.

Good to see some things never change."

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@LetThereBeTea This... isn't over? I don't know. This was weird.

*He backed away slowly, thrusting himself up into the air and firing a web, swinging off*

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@LetThereBeTea If you're anything like the Mad Hatter that I've heard of, you belong in a mental--

*BOOOOOOOOOM! A huge explosion down the street.* Uh...

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@LetThereBeTea Ugh. Lady! Just--

*He reached for her arm*

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@LetThereBeTea Welp. I tried.

*He flicked his pointer, thumb and pinkie out and flexed his middle and ring fingers, firing a webline in her direction*

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@LetThereBeTea I don't think you grasp the concept of paperwork.

*Pulls out a clipboard and pen*

Seriously, it'll only take a minute.

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@LetThereBeTea -it would /really/ help me sift through the paperwork when I get home.

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@LetThereBeTea Did I forget to mention that I'm a bit of a crime fighter?

Now, if you would be so kind as to fill out this "I committed a crime" form,-

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@LetThereBeTea Well, Jane. You do a lotta crime stuff or do you mainly stick to the weird hat fetish?

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@LetThereBeTea Waiiiiiiit a minute there, Missy. Who are you? *He eyed her up and down through the lenses of his mask.* Hat-woman?

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@LetThereBeTea -wrote it down on my Spidey-Whities somewhere, but... yanno what? Never mind. I don't know why I said that.

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@LetThereBeTea Uhhhh, you don't know who I...

Never mind. I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man! Or Amazing. Or Ultimate. Or... bombastic? I think I-

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

You guys are something else.

Wait, Earth 11? Please tell me I'm at least hot in /that/ one... or do they call me Puny Petra? https://t.co/0vUGNNWPPd

[the hatter. @LetThereBeTea]

"Earth 11 is the best verse.

Because of me mostly." https://t.co/woE9gXj9Bw

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@Avengerstark You know /something/. Nick told me that once I turn 18, I belong to the Government. The hell does that mean?

[The Spider @Earth1Spidey]

@Avengerstark "I need to know what's going on with SHIELD. Seems like they're on me at every turn, Fury telling me to back off. What's going on?