Eaton Beevor Phd

ESPN analyst | Husband, Father, Son

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Walked in on a grimey porta potty sesh at Stagecoach, just bumping beavs in the sin bin

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Boobs, beers and bars that play music during commercial breaks.

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Next time the Eagles tush push instead of giving it to Saquon my fist goin through this lady’s headrest

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Not just anyone can declare for the NFL draft, but Eaton happens to check all of these boxes.

I am officially declaring for the NFL draft. I’d like to thank my corporate job, for providing clarity, showing me I hate it, and couldn’t keep up this boring working life 🫡 #upnext

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

@BigShaqOats Wife’s gonna leave me

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Jahmyr Gibbs, YOU are not welcome to my Thanksgiving dinner

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

@BigShaqOats Him too

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

I can hear the perkys callin rn

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Turning my swag on rn, can someone remind me to turn it off before I go to bed tn?

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Gonna start training ravens to drop off messages to the fellas

Imagine getting a knock on your window, pulling a scroll outta the ravens claw and it says “Bills ML”

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

I really need to stop sniffing my hand after groping my nuts before I enter the corporate workplace

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Taking a shit without my phone feels like I’m in timeout

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Just pushed out a fart that didn’t wanna come out… I pooped… in my pants… we’ll deal with it in the morning.

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

I’m on my 3rd rhino pill and I’m as soft as the brown part of a banana. Do I call 911 or go to bed and pray for a better day tmrw???

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

PSA: Girls do not react the same way as dogs if you put peanut butter on your cock

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Me to God after the 32nd wipe and 4th flush:

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Flies are so retarded dude. All they do is fly in circles in my house, go fucking do something

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Ke$ha was so fucking hot

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Just cracked the yolk of all three eggs. Going back to bed, we’ll try again tomorrow.

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

If not: munching box must’ve been like comping through a jungle

[Eaton Beevor Phd @Eatonbeevor]

Did women in the 1800s shave their beavers?