Ebohon.E.

Content with less, focused on more.

[Ebohon.E. @Egbeaye]

The best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour.

[Nelson™️ @_NelsonNosa]

The human is not a being in pursuit of happiness but rather in search of a reason to be happy.

People have enough to live by but nothing to live for, their existence becomes meaningless,

They have the means but no meaning.

Until they do, they'll never realize happiness is a state of mind, not a destination.

[YOM🗣️ @ThaBoyYom]

When last did you go out, have maximum fun, without having to spend a dime ?

Exactly.. ‘Happiness’ has been monetized my bro.

So now you have to spend, then PRETEND to be enjoying yourself.

Till you start finding happiness in just your essence as a modern Man, you’ll almost never truly be genuinely happy.

[Yehgha @yaygha]

About 4 days ago, I watched a YT video that talked about how we came about the term 'colour temperature' and by extension, why warmer-coloured lights (2800 to 3000K) is more relaxing and comfortable, while cooler light (white-ish light) is more stimulating, and suited to work, play and activity, broadly speaking.

Found it particular interesting as I've always prefered incandescent lighting indoors, especially at night because its more conducive to rest, signals sleep time and creates a more intimate ambience for when I have female guests

That video gave scientific backing to my night time preference for warm light (the science always meets me in front, eh?)

Now, maybe because of how excited I was about that discovery, I felt a strong urge to share it with my girl who had just walked into the living room as the video was ending - but caught myself mid-thought, self-reminded she would not share my enthusiasm because I know from experience, such things do not interest her.

So rather than expend my exuberence on an audience that would not share my fascination, I relocated to my desk and rerouted that energy into a deeply rewarding epistemic exercise on the subject.

Moral of the story:

While we all have impulses to share stories, interests or random bits of knowledge with those we love, and expect them to share our interests, it is socially unintelligent to forget that they are separate individuals with minds of their own. They have different interests, different curiosities, different levels of intelligence, different mental landscapes and basically, different things that capture their attention.

To expect that whatever interests us must interest them, or that whatever excites us must excite them, is a textbook case of self-absorption and a consequent inability to map their psychology.

It evinces an inability to fully appreciate separateness and the 'other-ness' of others.

Affection, love, marriage and whatever, does not undo individuality.

So the reason he 'doesn't receive the information in the first place' may very well be that the subject matter does not interest him. But because he is your husband, rather than communicate that lack of interest, he pretends to listen so as not to hurt your feelings.

Which then begs the question: how long will he continue to pretend? And at what point does it become unfair to expect that he shows interest in whatever story you have to share at whatever time - irrespective of his state of mind or individuality?

Okay... I guess that's two questions but you get the point

A better response, then (one which I use and have found to be remarkably effective) would be to (nonverbally) communicate his disinterest in such, as I like to call them, low level gists so that you gradually learn to stop bringing them to him

Or at least, consider whether the subject matter is one that is likely to interest him before sharing. Rather than sharing simply because it interests you.

So the problem is not inattention on his part. The problem is an inability on yours to recognise him as an independent center of exprerience, rather than an extension of yourself.

The issue, in simple terms, is your solipsism

[Enyinnaya @enyinna_]

There’s an archetype of a man who doesn’t seem to shiny ambitions and is largely comfortable with the life he’s living, yet doesn’t care to envy those who do and might even help them achieve theirs. Have you met such a man?

[YOM🗣️ @ThaBoyYom]

Braaah

[Mr Sergio @samson_samsen]

Don't you ever think otherwise: women like simps.

But you're not with women because of what they like. You're with them because of what you want from them. And to get the best out of women, you must be the most nonchalant guy ever. That is the only way.

But then, the reason women like simps is not because simping is attractive to them, but because with a simp they achieve a sufficient degree of emotional leverage.

Women strive so hard to gain emotional leverage in a relationship. Because with such leverage, they are safe against the reactions and consequences that their insufferable nature may often permit.

They know they cannot avoid misbehaving, so they pre-empt your reaction by putting you in a vulnerable emotional state where you'll always yield to their manipulations and forgive their ceaseless misdeeds.

This is why they want you to simp.

But you want the best out of a woman you're in a relationship with, and the way to achieve this is by being nonchalant.

Why?

Because the need for emotional leverage is a compulsive one. And because it is, women will always strive for it.

When you're nonchalant, a woman does not have emotional leverage in the relationship. And that poses a greater threat to her, as she is not secure in the relationship should her nature someday get the better of her.

Nonchalant men are not so attached, and so they leave easily.

Women fear this.

Be nonchalant, and she will put in effort to make you chalant and, consequently, make sacrifices above and beyond what women would typically make in a relationship.

She will put in effort to make you chalant because she wants to tame the beast in you, bring out the lover, the pussy-whipped guy in you, and be sure that you're not a monster who would remain unscathed upon seeing her cry and deny having fucked the guy you saw on her phone when such a situation emerges.

However, I have written extensively on this before, and I do not intend to stress it further.

Good luck. Or, congratulations.

[𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒂𝒍𝒕 𝑶𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒉 @Shadaya_Knight]

If there is someone who needs a dream wedding, then the dreamer must pay. No one must suffer for another person's dream.

[Taiwo_junzi @taiwo_junzi]

This won’t go viral because most men are marriage to women whose respect for them is tied to money!

That’s partly why they genuinely believe provision is their shield in marriage.

At the end of the day, those who allow money be the God in their marriages will live long enough to bear the brunt of their choices.

Time is everyone’s friend!!!

[Enyinnaya @enyinna_]

For an attractive man to get beautiful women easily he must have a noticeable flaw, unless, he’ll appear perfect which would intimidate her ‘cos it forces her to improve. Women today detest improving. She needs you to have flaws that make her think she’s better and can fix you.

[Enyinnaya @enyinna_]

You should be joking with women and never be too heated with them. If you take them seriously, you’ll end up resenting them.

[Yehgha @yaygha]

Love tweets like this that are rooted in lived experience rather than the wishful, theoretical, idealistic slop that dominates this app these days.

That said, permit me to add that without them not understanding boundaries, or more precisely, distinguishing between a favour and an obligation (do something once for them and they expect it indefinitely) they are also highly impressionable and so have a tendency to import behaviours, expectations and standards from their environment (Nolly/Hollywood, social media, podcasts, pop culture, friends) directly into their relationships and marriages.

And this tendency is remarkably universal. So it makes little difference whether she is "good" or bad, a virgin or not, nor does it matter whether you are highly masculine or emasculated. She will *ATTEMPT* to import them regardless.

For example, your woman may watch a brain rotting youtube Nollywood movie on post partum depression, get emotionally invested in it and then attempt to make it a 'conversation' with you.

'Conversation' in quotes because it isn't really dialogue she seeks but confirmation from you of what her idea of PPD is and what you will do if it happens to you and she begins acting like what she saw in the Nollywood slop that has fried her brain.

Completely ignore her because attempting to engage will be a waste of time at that point. Make that occassion a reminder that you do not take her seriously on serious matters. She will get angry momentarily and sulk. Allow her.

Another example is how she may watch a woman weaponise sex on TV and even if you've never begged for sex from her before, if you offend her, she may say something like "I regret giving you this bunda today. Come and ask for it again and see. You will beg and I will not give you"

It may sound like she's joking but all jokes reveal thinking and imagination so your response is what will determine whether or not that thought translates into action - so do not ignore it.

Without becoming defensive or emotional, remind her in definite unequivocal terms that you do not beg for pum and will never beg for pum.

Seeing that, unlike the dodoyos in the Nollywood slop she consumes, that threat will not work with you, she may then pivot from threatening to accusing: "Ehen now, that is because you have Cynthia and Amaka that you've been cheating on me with... no problem"

Essentially switching from one shit test to another

But that is the response you want, so neither deny nor affirm it. That is the impression of you you want her to *CONTINUOUSLY have; a man who has options - never a man who does not BECAUSE women treat men with options a billion times better than men without.

See, your woman will test your frame *CONSTANTLY* - sometimes consciously, most times unconcsciously - but everyday and twice on Sundays, she will test it. Whether or not you recognise these test when they come and are able to 'pass' them *EFFORTLESSLY* is the difference maker between whether you get the best version of her or the worst one.

There is no such thing as a 'good woman'. At best, what you can get is a woman you have *CONDITIONED* to be good to YOU.

And that conditioning does not end. The day you snooze, you will lose.

[Ebohon.E. @Egbeaye]

@Donjaytrix001 @EeevaJames After she done text me bro

[TobyWrites @tobyasky]

As I grow older, one thing I have learnt is not to underrate what makes people happy.

Even if you feel it’s nothing to you, do not look down on it, never do.

Sometimes, I follow some people and they’re so excited and even screenshot it to post, and I’m wondering like, “bro I’m just like you, I’m not special, this is nothing”, but I do not let these thoughts out. Instead, I also RT or drop a funny comment, or just make them feel comfortable like “na you be boss”, “thanks for following me too”, etc.

It’s something in life, what excites people might not make sense to you, but do not look down on it.

For instance, when I meet footballers, I’m over the moon, I’m excited…but there’s someone who even dines with them, who might even be wondering, “why is this guy shining his 32 because he met a footballer?”…but that’s my own happiness, it might not be yours.

Anyways, the morale of this write up is that, never ever look down on what makes people happy, it might be that they are so excited that they just entered a plane for the first time, be excited for them, don’t tell them that you’ve entered plane 100 times, it’s not the right time.

[Enyinnaya @enyinna_]

Nigerians are funny. I start speaking to them in a simple and careful manner, and instead of finding ease or a potential ally, they see someone they can exploit. I switch once and they look traumatised.

And I don’t stop when I switch. My obsessive personality won’t let me. I go crazy, intense, because lowkey I enjoy being a sick bastard with an easy demeanour. Some people deserve to be scarred on a random day. Ignore what they say when they’re hurt.

[Enyinnaya @enyinna_]

I’ve always identified more with the cool dudes who were always cool. I mean, those who were “the shit” at school and never actually dipped—they only switched flows. It probably sounds superficial; but for me, some people are natural winners and some are natural losers. Losers get some shiny accolades and lose themselves after. It commands their whole personality, lifestyle, and worldview. Because they’re still very overwhelmed that it could happen. “Is it really me?!!!” An unexpected heartbreak would break their spirit. It would remind them of what they truly are and they’d act accordingly. But the cool dudes know that life is just a spectrum of colours that could be brighter or dimmer by each season. Some colours get added along the way. Some are more visible than the others. You keep moving; you stand still; you get hit, or you hit; sometimes, you lay back to relax, other times you throw large parties—who the hell cares? Nothing to prove. Just being bright and alive.

[Ebohon.E. @Egbeaye]

“The past is beautiful because one never realises an emotion at the time. It expands later, and thus we don't have complete emotions about the present, only about the past” — Virginia Woolf

[Ebohon.E. @Egbeaye]

Independent thinking requires the courage to question accepted ideas, knowing that doing so may upset people.

[Sir David Onyemaizu🦍 @SirDavidBent]

The nicer you are, the faster you may get disrespected.

Some people don't value kindness. They test it and they use it.

They mistake your benevolence for weak boundaries.

Being nice is not enough.

Be kind to people, but have standards.

[Sir David Onyemaizu🦍 @SirDavidBent]

This life is not hard.

Friendship is not by force.

Relationship is not by force.

Don't force anything.

If people don't find you worthy enough to be with them, erase them from your mind and move on.

The world is a pretty big place.

You will always find those who will appreciate you sooner or later.