@tophz_ An underrated form of empathy is "the knowing silence".
When someone knows you've got them without the need for words. That connection transcends time.
My mum was a primary school teacher and assistant school headmistress who took me to her school at a very early age. Her school was my daycare. It was an all-girls Catholic school, and I was the only boy, so they were quite fond of me there.
She always left me with her fellow teachers and students, who taught me to read in Edo Language. Because it was spoken to me at home and at school, it was very easy to learn. I started reading in Edo at age 3. Funny how nobody noticed it until I started reading English words out loud.
I struggled with reading in English initially until one day I decided to use the same rules of the Edo Language to read English, as the alphabet was almost the same. People were shocked when I read the words out loud in a newspaper when I was around 4 years old. I didn't understand what most words meant until I discovered the miracle called the dictionary.
When I was a bit older and I had started school properly (I left the girls' school for another Catholic school beside it), Reader's Digest and the Encyclopedia Britannica became my favorite reading material. My mother was in charge of her school library, and I used to fake illness so that I could go in there and bury myself inside the books.
TV was not yet popular when I was a kid, and books were more than enough entertainment. I would bury myself inside my imagination and could get quite lost in my own thoughts. They called me a quiet kid, but it was never at all quiet inside my head.
In a funny way, I didn't play football at all because I discovered Field Hockey at age 6. I was very good and quickly became part of the school team. Hockey players looked down on football. That very sport saved me from getting distracted by football and helped me get very good grades.
The crazy thing was that all of these things were not happening in a private school but in public schools; the government had taken over from the Catholic Mission. For my children to get an education of a similar quality today, we have to pay through our noses.
If we want to save Nigeria, it has to start with saving primary education. I passed by my old primary school 15 years ago when we went to bury my father, and I saw the field where I used to play hockey, overgrown with weeds.
The footballers had also abandoned the field as the city became a war zone, with cultists terrorizing each other and innocent citizens. I hear things are different and sanity is being restored.
Politics is a funny thing. Online, we all make fun of Edo State's current governor, but those on the ground I speak with praise him for being aggressive against cultism. That is laudable, but there will be no cultism in the future if we fix primary education today.
We’re putting together a team to build something intentional, expressive, and unforgettable.
If you’re passionate about creativity and ready to work with a team that brings ideas to life, we want you.🫵🏾🤩
Join the Fashion as an Art Planning Team 👉🏾 https://t.co/OOreUvz5R0
Stories like these are the reason I'll never play with Akwaji Chris and Eneji Simon. There were days in Unical when I'll be down and out and too "concerned" to call home and these men would come through with a timely meal.
I'LL NEVER FORGET!
This made me remember a day in 400 level
Where I had nothing to eat, absolutely nothing. I lay on my bed and the only thing I could whisper were words of prayer "Jesus I'm hungry"
Someone knocked few minutes to 11pm
And said they came to pay for a shoe we discussed earlier in the month (I make shoes)
When they left, I got bread and soda
As I ate tears clouded my eyes😭
Nigerian "celebrity" is problematic. It is usually not about excellence, and I sometimes don't know why some people became famous or what value they provide beyond notoriety.
Some Nigerians get fame and don't know what to do with it other than keep fanning popularity by buying affection. The begging culture we see today was strongly encouraged by those who tried to buy love by giving money or "showing love," as it is now known.
People who create value that people gravitate towards without having beggars all around them are the real deal.
@Tunde_OD and @AnthonyAzekwoh showed us recently how to use attention to propagate true value. The created conversation, attention, and sold timeless products that can always be resold for more value as they represent excellence.
I didn't know who IShowSpeed was until my 12-year-old son introduced me to his streams. I wasn't interested until he went to Botswana and highlighted something very important.
When he came to Nigeria, instead of interacting with excellence, mediocre celebrities once again tried to struggle for attention, seeking relevance.
The begging to me wasn't as bad as the famzing. You could see that he didn't care and wasn't interested. That is exactly how the rest of the world feels. Nigerians are in their own cocoon of irrelevance.
Since last month, I have shifted most of my attention away from Nigerian issues, but somehow they keep finding a way to pop up on my timeline. Excellence is not a difficult thing to achieve, according to Thomas Watson, the founder of IBM; you just decide to stop doing less than excellent things.
Nigerian excellence is not difficult either; we just have to learn to start ignoring less-than-excellent people and condemn them to irrelevance.
Why is it that Nigerian food is only considered appealing once it’s been shrunk, stripped of its soul, and plated with tweezers?
In this video, I argue that we don’t have to dilute our cuisine to export it.
@ChikaodiVivian I read your story and because it was so engaging, I hoped it didn't end soon.
If you become interested in trademarking your trade name, DM me.
I'd do it for you at a discount.
Opening your eyes when looking for a partner is underestimated.
People are wicked in terrible dimensions and I highly recommend taking everything people tell you about themselves seriously and then confirming them with their actions. No one can know a person more than themselves.
We have a mentality that X is toxic but there are people whose contacts I have on WhatsApp and I'm grateful I have them because if I'd met them short term, I'd have been deceived into thinking they're great people and would consider doing life with them. The importance of...
You people actually hate your partners. It manifests in how you relate and view relationship with them.
You dragged MummyZee for doing exactly this. You dragged the TikTok women who wake up early or wake from sleep to cook for their husbands who work hard to look after the family. Yet, you're cheering for this and asking for this kind of man. To what end? That you'll find a loving and kindhearted man whom you plan not to love?
I also do not understand the men who have a problem with this. I know most of you do not want your women to be successful and do not expect them to. That is the only way to manage your ego and feel like a man. You want to be the only successful one who pay all the bills so you can control her.
Love is sacrifice. Love is death to self. Love is putting your partner's interest first. Love is consideration. Love is kind.
This manifestation of unkindness exists in various forms:
- "I love my husband, but his money is our money, and my money is my money." No, you don't love him.
- "A man must always be 5 steps ahead of his wife no matter what." You're competing with your wife and will stifle her growth to protect your ego. That is not love.
- "I love my husband, but I can never do this for any man." You eliminate endearment to make him a nondescript in order to validate your lovelessness. "Any man" Meanwhile, it is your man you're referring to.
- "Gender roles exists for a reason. A man should not be cooking." You probably believe this because you've convinced yourself you must be 5 steps ahead and always pay the bills so you won't do any other thing in the house. But love is togetherness. You're not going to remove financial contributions and responsibilities because you're a woman. You're not going to remove domestic responsibility because you're a man.
From doing things for your man or the home and collecting back twice the money in accrued interest, to refusing to commit your finances to the home, to referring to acts of service as slavery, to demanding for love you never give, to refusing to make yourself useful at home, to frustrating your woman's career progress and financial growth to protect your insecurity, among other, it shows you people do not love your partners and do not understand what togetherness mean.