Red Hot Milf 🇨🇦

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful

[🖤 @sweets419]

Not interested in this ad.

[Art E McFly @SabotagedSmoke]

Dear people

Stop taking your entire fucking family to Costco

Sincerely,
Everyone else

[Paris G @Paris__G]

Have a good one!

[Jono @whoinvitedjon]

I procrastinated a little but I'm going to do dry January

[Red Hot Milf 🇨🇦 @EhDevil]

@TFCFan Flu. Please kill me.

[Red Hot Milf 🇨🇦 @EhDevil]

This is as good a time as any to curl up into a ball and die.

[Turgid Verse @gullyvuhr]

Anyone have any tips for peering out your blinds without looking creepy? Struggling with this one a little.

[That bitch with the bacon tattoo @tashaneedshelp]

I’m not the same person I was a few years ago, I’m much worse now.

[Natalie Would @_NatalieWould]

To my murderer: I get it

[Jenni @hashjenni]

i’m at that age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off😭😭😭

[Linda @turtledumplin]

I’m going on a road trip back to 1986, who wants to go with me?

[sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy]

Well, on the bright side, I have no more New Year's resolutions left to break.

[Red Hot Milf 🇨🇦 @EhDevil]

@Camel_Crushin Why can’t we all just get along!?

[Red Hot Milf 🇨🇦 @EhDevil]

I’m “Twitter used to be cool and I refuse to call it X” years old.

[Natalie Would @_NatalieWould]

Good neighbors have an unspoken restraining order

[Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4]

Not to brag but I don’t even own a Stanley cup.

[Red Hot Milf 🇨🇦 @EhDevil]

Is it too much to ask to get some damn sunshine around here?

[Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin]

I have many different layers. I’m basically a lasagna.