Zach Phillips

Chef, Wanderer, (over)thinker

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

Update: 45 minutes on the tarmac before we got off the plane*

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

@Delta love being delayed 30 minutes for some random reason only to land an hour late and sit on the tarmac for 20 minutes because “our gate is occupied”. A+ job, stunning. Over 100 years of flight and y’all can’t take off and land on time yet? Maybe after another 100

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

Duck with 5-spice Molé and coconut rice

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

Normalize calling your homies “pookie”

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

Some fuckass turned off the AC in my apartment and now I’m gonna commit violence. Seriously, not all of us can live off daddy’s $, some of us work 12 hours behind a stove and would like a little cool and comfort after 12 hours of actual fucking work 🖕

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

Do you think beer likes me too, or do you think beer sees me as just a friend

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

The only thing more dangerous than a gas station burrito is a free gas station burrito

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

I’m beginning to think I must’ve really pissed someone off in a past life to deserve this luck. Or maybe god just doesn’t like me 😂

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

“Not all Martyrs see Divinity” has to be the greatest TOOL lyric of all time

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

Chef said “don’t have too many beers tonight” sorry chef, but when freedom rings, I answer the call🫡🇺🇸

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

The liver is a muscle, train until failure 💪

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

Sipping on homemade cherry-lychee wine, unboxing a bumblebee action figure I bought after working a 12 hour shift because I’m a functioning adult

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

I’m fairly certain, within a reasonable margin of error, that 10-12 Busch apples could fix me

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

Listening to Creed at 2am hits different

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

Drinking 3 Red Bulls a day makes me feel like Dale Earnhardt in the final 1/4 mile

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

How the 4th Malort hits after a 14hr

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

Can’t stand the vineyard vines crowd, let’s see how well the spreadsheets do in the back alley

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

My blood type is redbull

[Zach Phillips @El_Jefe_Zach]

They always ask “who’s big man Blastoise?” And not “how’s big man Blastoise?” 😔