Eli Hart

this is my bio. what i've cleverly done here is talk about my bio rather than myself.

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

It's nice to see Tom Selleck take part in Movember.

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

Every time I look he's staring at me... What's my reflections problem!!

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

You're never too old to put your ear down to a bowl of rice krispies.

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

Is there a Fiat out there that doesn't have the shitty eyelashes on the headlights??#dragqueencars

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

When someone falls over, why does the family Dog always run over?

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

@nomienairai of your ly-in, no. Of your tweets, definitely not.

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

@nomienairai Shit. Tweet.

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

Oops I did it again: probably the only song that's arguably about accidentally shitting on the rug.

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

Ace! One of the detachable parts on the loo roll holder looks like the memory eraser thing in Men in Black. #toilettimes

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

Mum is the queen of sarcasm:
Dad: "which way do I turn?"
Mum: "i dunno Dave, let me just get my magic scanner out"

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

Just found out there's a shop called 'Loot' #badname

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

Isn't it embarrassing when your walking steps match the sleazy hip hop music in the shop? #resorttopowerwalking

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

"I just wanted you to let me in..."
Miley, it doesn't matter how many times you twerk on my lawn, I'm not letting you in my house.

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

One of those days when you want Richard Gere to storm in and sweep you off your feet #mightbetooheavy

[Cameron Sharp @CamSharp6]

@JessieHart11 @EliHartFilm she did say this. I agreed. It was a lovely moment.

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

@JessieHart11 Older sister... Shittin all over me...

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

I kill spiders with a Nigella Lawson cookbook so the last thing they see is the hottest woman on the planet. It's the least I can do.

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

'Walking in Memphis' really is the pinnacle of middle age, wine induced Karaoke.

[Eli Hart @EliHartFilm]

@DanielcParkin I do not like Jake Bugg, hence the tweet.