Elijah Simmons

carry on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are gone. lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more.

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

This generation is ruined. Good luck to the next

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

@KasiLynn98 Shit if you need someone to make your family laugh I’ll whip out my best 9/11 jokes

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

Tf is this national boyfriend day shit? Isn’t it bad enough we have to be tortured by Valentine’s Day? Fuggen bullshit

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

Gravity does not exist

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

@Breekayy_ Will the real slim shady pls stand up

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

Bitch

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

Twitter's lame you’re lame

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

Update: who the fuck cares

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

Sometimes I like to connect my phone to the tv and play moaning videos when people are in my room. 1/3 times I walk in and they’re fucking...so I’d say mostly successful

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

Mothafuckaaaa

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

What do you want?
Everything.
What do you have?
Nothing.
Then why give up when you have nothing to lose?
#thoughtstoTwitter

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

Girls be down on their knees suckin dick all year—then pretend to be religious for like 2 days then it’s back to suckin dick

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

Me: wow we’re gonna get married

Also me: *has one argument* well that relationship was fun

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

If we’re making out and you’re not using tongue why tf am I still here then

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

@davidhogg you attention whore. You’re a fucking liar challenge me. Can’t keep to your story straight son. I’m glad you got rejected. You are ignorant, and deserve to be exposed for the bitch you are.

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

I swear all this bullshit about gun control makes me wanna go out and shoot someone

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

@BlakeMWelch Profound

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

Also, does anybody else lose sleep over mentally growing up? I truthfully don’t fucking know at this point

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

If you’re on a date and you order a dr.pepper and she orders a water...there’s you’re red flag #itsnotgonnawork
#shesnottheone
#experiencepoint
#hashtagsmakemefeelgay

[Elijah Simmons @ElijahSimmons8]

@daria_erzakova You’re talking about anything other than $1 cheeseburgers and fries right?