Hey Eliott

Stand up comedy aficionado, mediocre podcastor/blogger, Dog owner, works at a day job, professional jaw clencher.

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

I have a funny thought. Remember I’m only joking here and every thing I’m about to tweet is in the spirit of jocularity and is by no means an indicator of the world or how I behave in the world. So are you ready? Okay. Here we go.

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

I’m a zombie

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@MoString

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@BasedMikeLee You’re an idiot. A nincompoop. A troglodyte. A pussy. A bitch. A pussy ass bitch.

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@BasedMikeLee Hey. That old Son Of a Whore can go fuck himself.

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@OpieRadio @VICE Play me some sweet Diswalla guys.

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@cogpkgmedia Hey. Fuck off.

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@elonmusk

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@BuyCryptoStore @daveanthony Look at Dr. Quack over here. Get fucked moron.

[Film The Police LA @FilmThePoliceLA]

While people are out searching for bodies, the NYT does a piece about white people searching for their prized Rolex in the debris.

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@JohnyTwoTimes13 @daveanthony Get fucked. You waterhead.

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@JudgeAwayIDC Yeah. You’re a fuck.

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

He @CatholicLeague Go Fuck Yourselves

[Andy Kindler @AndyKindler]

Dear everyone: Don’t go on Joe Rogan’s show. He’s the enemy of anyone with a working brain. If you have a working brain, you will regret it.

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

Ron DeFascist

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@WeCrusaders @InternetH0F Hey go fuck yourselves

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@InternetH0F Good orgies provide snacks and drinks in the other room

[The Iron Sheik @the_ironsheik]

IF SHE WEARS SHORT SKIRTS
AND YOU WEAR T SHIRTS
IF SHE IS CHEER CAPTAIN
AND YOU ON THE BLEACHERS YOU NEED TO GO FUCK YOURSELF

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@IwriteOK Just for inclusivity, My great-great and maybe another great Grandfather Chief Blackbird poisoned all his advisers who disagreed with him and was buried sitting up on his horse.

[Hey Eliott @EliottHey]

@daveanthony hate listening to Elon on the lever is going to make me take up smoking