Elizabeth C.

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@YUGEBOLZ Same!

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

They want to assault little girls
because it satisfies them.

They want to use violence
because it satisfies them.

They want to hide their faces behind black cloth
so no one can see who they are
because it satisfies them.

That is not a religion.
That is a dog.
That is a pig.
That is a frontal lobe the size of a single grain of Sahara sand.

A real man protects the weak.
A human protects the young.

When you enter someone else’s land,
you respect the owner and follow their rules.
You do not threaten their safety.

That is what a human is.

If you cannot do that,
you are not a man.
You are not even a human.

You are a dog.
A pig.
A parasite.
A virus.

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@oelma__ The better question is which one wouldn’t?

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

If you aren’t following this account, you are wrong.

I said what I said.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

Our neighborhood HOA has a forty-page rulebook.

Rule 14-B: Front doors must be painted 'Desert Sand' or 'Harvest Wheat.'

Mrs. Gable is eighty-four. Her husband passed away in spring. In June, she painted her front door a bright, aggressive ocean blue.

It was a flag of war.

Inside I said: THE REBEL HAS RAISED HER COLORS. THE EMPIRE WILL RESPOND.

Two days later, an HOA inspector arrived with a clipboard. He walked down the street, writing citations.

He stopped at Mrs. Gable’s house.

My neighbor Kevin—the truck owner—was standing in his driveway. He walked over to the inspector.

Kevin said, "Can I help you?"

The inspector pointed at the bright blue door. "That’s a violation. Desert Sand or Harvest Wheat only."

Kevin looked at the door. He squinted.

He said, "Looks Desert Sand to me."

The inspector stared at Kevin. "It is bright blue."

I walked over. I stood next to Kevin. I folded my arms.

I looked at the door. I said with maximum gravity, "In my country, that is a shade of wheat after rain."

The inspector looked at two grown men staring at a neon-blue door with complete sincerity.

Then Mrs. Gable opened the door. She offered the inspector a hot blueberry muffin.

She said, "It matches the muffins."

The inspector looked at the clipboard. He looked at the muffin. He took the muffin.

He wrote something down.

Later, I saw the official report posted on the portal.

It read: *Door inspection inconclusive due to lighting conditions. Re-evaluation scheduled for 2038.*

There is a rulebook. And there is a neighborhood.

When the blue door needs repainting in ten years, I know who will hold the ladder.

Kevin already has the brush.

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@japan_nobunaga Best account on X.

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@takenaps Let me know if you find one 😂

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@Andrew_Chia01 I mean, I can’t believe they actually post this 😂

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

This is the best account on X.
I said what I said.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

The tornado left at nine at night.

The chainsaws started at ten.

I could not start mine until March.

Let me explain the gap.

One hour after it passed, in the dark, in a neighborhood with no power, I heard an engine pull and catch, and then another, and then six. Nobody organized it. There was no siren for it. Men came out of houses with saws they already owned, because in this country a man who lives near trees owns a saw the way a man owns shoes.

They cut the road open first.

Not their own driveways. The road.

I asked why the road first.

A man said, "Ambulance can't fly."

Ambulance cannot fly. Therefore the road. Before your own house, before your own roof, before walking into your own back yard in the dark to learn what you have lost.

I had no saw. I had two hands and a great deal of enthusiasm, which I have since learned is the least useful combination available in an emergency.

So I asked for a job.

A man in his sixties looked me over and handed me the flashlight.

I want to be precise about how I received this.

In my tradition, when a man is given a light while others work in darkness, he is being told that the work depends on him and that he may not move. There are accounts of men holding torches at castle gates through entire nights. I know what a light means.

I held that flashlight for four hours and forty minutes.

I did not sit. I did not switch hands, which was an error. I put the beam where the blade was going half a second before it got there, and when a man moved I moved with him, and when a man stopped I held the light exactly on his hands so he could see what he had.

At two in the morning the road was open.

He took the flashlight back and said, "Thanks, you were good on that."

You were good on that.

I have received formal commendations in my life. I have a scroll signed by a man whose name is in books.

You were good on that.

I did not sleep. At seven in the morning I bought a chainsaw.

It is a good chainsaw. The man at the store asked what I was cutting and I said "trees," which he appeared to find insufficient.

I could not start it.

I am going to report the number honestly, because I have decided that lying about small things is how a man begins lying about large ones.

Forty-seven pulls.

Across two days. In my garage. With the door closed.

On the third day my neighbor Dale walked in without knocking, which is normal here, took it out of my hands, flipped a small lever I had not known existed, and started it on the second pull.

He did not laugh. I want that written down. Dale did not laugh.

He said, "Choke."

I said I did not understand.

He said, "Yeah, they don't tell ya."

They don't tell ya. Four words, and an entire national attitude toward instruction manuals.

Eleven days after the storm I learned who had cut the tree off my fence and left before I got outside. I found him and thanked him.

He said, "It was on your fence."

To him that is a complete explanation. The tree was on the fence. He owns a saw. There is no step between those two facts at which a decision occurs.

My saw is by the door now. It is sharp. It starts on the second pull, every time, because I have practiced starting it one hundred and six times, which Dale says is "more than you need to."

It is not more than I need to.

I intend to be on that road at ten o'clock.

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

I will probably watch it 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

[Brad Pitt @BradPitt4ever]

The countdown is on for the release of this incredible masterpiece, and I can hardly contain my excitement!. Trust me, you won't want to miss out on this movie, it's going to be something special. Let's get hyped together!

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@Andrew_Chia01 If only it was satire 😂😂

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@takenaps @SenWarren The “gubmint” 😂🤣😂🤣😂

[⚡️Puddin⚡️ @puddin88124]

@GovBobFerguson you got a lot of questions to be answering right now, and I think your people deserve those answers.

So are we going to correct the actions in the past and give these people their money that is allocated for them to be able to recover from the gray fires?

And what’s gonna be different this time around with the current wildfires?

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@Andrew_Chia01 She’s the worst

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@AmericaPapaBear Saaaammmeees

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@Andrew_Chia01 I’ll stand up for you!

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@realtalkstruth Chic-Fil- A

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@clerpatriot Love you. Give the sweet girls a hug from their Auntie in Kentucky. ❤️ let us know if y’all need anything at all.

[Elizabeth C. @ElizabethC0429]

@ThrillaRilla369 Lassie