Liz Mac

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

I think probably the most annoying question in the world is "why do you look cute?"...idk Becky, why are you in mens sweatpants at a party? #someonehastobetheprettiest

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

Adopt a 1 eyed dog, name it padiddle #advice

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

Im back...until i get bored again.

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

White people love to say "but I can't complain" after a complaint

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

Really facebook? I really didnt feel like seeing a fucking dead baby today...who the fuck reposts that shit. I hate the world.

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

I could* watch #FixerUpper all day.

*Did

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

If @chrissyteigen just added a comma to her name instead of a hyphen, she would have the most bad ass name ever.
Chrissy Teigen, Legend.

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

No stronger bond than locking eyes with your mother and both getting off the subway before your stop because there was a subway preacher

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

Remember that time I sneezed and you didn't say bless you? Well I do. This is your tape.
#13ReasonsWhy

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

Im not in love with Chip Gaines, you are

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

Women who sit butt ass naked in the gym locker room are the equivalent to men who get off by flashing their junk to unsuspecting women.

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

I accidently worked out my weak ass little baby calfs too much and I haven't been able to straighten my knees when I walk in 2 days 😐

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

When Young Dro rhymes 'Ain't I' with 'Macarena'
#fire #Genius gets me every time

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

When u dont buy the correct bsuite to take those sexy high waisted 1 piece pics, & you just pull a reg one piece up your butt, u look REDIC

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

So I said to him, I said; 'Pyeong? I can barely pee old'!

-cool joke 80+ should tell
#geriatrics

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

What's the difference between a dollar and the Jaguars?
You get 4 quarters our of a dollar
#PatriotsNation

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

Danny 'Playoff' Amendola

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

'Just the tip' of the iceberg

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

LMFAO THESE ARE SO FUNNY good thing I can spell huh https://t.co/aoyIz1bynT

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

It's really awkward when my phone autocorrects sesame to seamen...for the record, I never made seamen seared tuna.

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

Lmfao literal tweet i made in 2015 https://t.co/5XomQhjoPj

[Liz Mac @Elizmac12]

Beholder- "Is there something in my eye?"
Friend- "Yeah, let me see..it looks like beauty..want me to blow on it?"
Beholder- "Ya get it out"