Me: I earn £100k
HMRC: That’s nice, we’ll take £45k
Me: I bought a car
HMRC: VAT applied
Me: I want to gift my kid £5k
HMRC: Taxed
Me: I made money from crypto
HMRC: You mean we made money
Me: I made £50 profit on Vinted
HMRC: That’s income. Tax it
Me: I bought a house
HMRC: Stamp duty please
Me: I want to retire
HMRC: Pay tax on your pension
🚨 | Jack Grealish received an offer from Inter Miami but turned it down, saying he wasn’t comfortable living in Miami because of the Bay Harbor Butcher. ❌
(via @Fabrizio_Romano)
CLOSE: #DCCC finish the day on 46-1, with Lloyd (35*) and Came (11*) at the crease.
Earlier, Alex Thomson career-best figures of 7-65.
Scorecard and clips ⤵️
Just been informed I am being prosecuted on 331 counts of crimes against the African tarmac network.
The charges include “inciting violence against tarmac” “grievous tarmac harm” and “ferocious 1s & 2s”
I would like to have it on record that I plead 100% guilty of all charges. Lawyer reckons I’m looking at 6-8 strawberry daiquiris on a beach in Tunisia. Please pray for me.
Apparently Berghain have replaced their soundsystem. The old one put in 20 years of service, which means, assuming it was running 40 hours a week at an average of 135bpm (always 4 to the floor, obviously), it played approximately 340 million kick drums during its lifetime
Remember when Sky Sports used to be the best and really respected?
They have become a parody of themselves sacking respectable journalists and presenters for influencers.
Their agenda against United is so forced and without Manchester United they would not get the reaction and the engagement they want.