Elliott

sequel to the prequel

[Elliott @Elliott0892]

@DeadlineDayLive @MailSport That’s ok then

[Aleksandra Huk @HukAleksandra]

Me: I earn £100k
HMRC: That’s nice, we’ll take £45k

Me: I bought a car
HMRC: VAT applied

Me: I want to gift my kid £5k
HMRC: Taxed

Me: I made money from crypto
HMRC: You mean we made money

Me: I made £50 profit on Vinted
HMRC: That’s income. Tax it

Me: I bought a house
HMRC: Stamp duty please

Me: I want to retire
HMRC: Pay tax on your pension

[CPFCGAO @GAOcpfc]

I confirm that the ball is still in play here and trust me I’m very qualified to make these decisions.

If you don’t believe me read my bio.

[Elliott @Elliott0892]

@The_Forty_Four Witnessed similar scenes at ysgol y grango in year 10

[Just Bizarre Tactics @JBTFooty]

🚨 | Jack Grealish received an offer from Inter Miami but turned it down, saying he wasn’t comfortable living in Miami because of the Bay Harbor Butcher. ❌

(via @Fabrizio_Romano)

[Elliott @Elliott0892]

@DeadlineDayLive Surely they’d be ok with him taking out a loan? Interest rates aren’t too bad nowadays

[Elliott @Elliott0892]

@iamtomskinner @kegsonwheels

[Derbyshire CCC @DerbyshireCCC]

CLOSE: #DCCC finish the day on 46-1, with Lloyd (35*) and Came (11*) at the crease.

Earlier, Alex Thomson career-best figures of 7-65.

Scorecard and clips ⤵️

[Elliott @Elliott0892]

@footballtweet Alan Smith

[Russ Cook @hardestgeezer]

Just been informed I am being prosecuted on 331 counts of crimes against the African tarmac network.

The charges include “inciting violence against tarmac” “grievous tarmac harm” and “ferocious 1s & 2s”

I would like to have it on record that I plead 100% guilty of all charges. Lawyer reckons I’m looking at 6-8 strawberry daiquiris on a beach in Tunisia. Please pray for me.

[Elliott @Elliott0892]

@knaggsy097 😂😂😂 what a guy

[Elliott @Elliott0892]

@spectatorindex Stem cells

[Elliott @Elliott0892]

@SkySportsPL See how he gets on with a couple of knocks

[England Cricket @englandcricket]

💬 "I'm immensely proud of every single time I've pulled on an England shirt."

🎙️ @David_Willey

#EnglandCricket | #CWC23

[Elliott @Elliott0892]

@BBCNews @ChrisSlaterr

[Elliott @Elliott0892]

@ChrisSlaterr @JossIwain113 @WrexhamFX @BrynLaw 8002

[Objekt @keinobjekt]

Apparently Berghain have replaced their soundsystem. The old one put in 20 years of service, which means, assuming it was running 40 hours a week at an average of 135bpm (always 4 to the floor, obviously), it played approximately 340 million kick drums during its lifetime

[Glamorgan Cricket @GlamCricket]

No one will ever forget his triple-century, the highest score by a Welshman and Glamorgan Captain 😍

#OhGlammyGlammy

[Fake Showbiz News @FakeShowbizNews]

Emma Bunton reveals she saw a dead badger on the M4 earlier.

“Assume it must have been hit by a vehicle,” she said

[Keane 🇾🇪 @Carrick_Era16]

Remember when Sky Sports used to be the best and really respected?

They have become a parody of themselves sacking respectable journalists and presenters for influencers.

Their agenda against United is so forced and without Manchester United they would not get the reaction and the engagement they want.