Been suspended from X since January for posting naughty tweets. But I was framed! It was a hit job. My tweets are harmless! So, I took it all the way to the Supreme Court. My mom testified, under oath, that I'm a good boy. Case dismissed. Suspension lifted.
I'm back, mufuggas.
This raven is a horrible tic-tac-toe player! The human obviously let him win. The raven's 3rd move should've been in the middle square to ensure victory. Very dumb bird.
@logmeouttahere2 Me too usually. But for some reason here, they're the same thing but it's called a DUI if you're under 21 and a DWI if you're over 21. That's the only difference. It's fucking retarded.
Got a DWI in March, so I have to get the breathalyzer in my car calibrated tomorrow. But...they suspended my license. So they're telling me if I don't get my breathalyzer calibrated I will get arrested, but if I get caught driving to go get it calibrated, I will get arrested.
.@Pixar Just an idea for Toy Story 6: Have a scene where Buzz Lightyear is having sex with a toy water pistol (female), and right when the toy water pistol orgasms, she squirts. In the movie writing biz, we call this a "double entendre". I am available for hire. Thank you.
It's funny how "last call" is supposed to make people drink less. But as soon as I hear that last call is at 11:30pm (yes, the bars here close at midnight)....I order about 9 drinks at 11:29pm. Fuck 'em.
#StickingItToTheMan