Emily! 🐳

two road trips later and I'm still not funny!!! stay tuned for lots of bad jokes, stray thoughts, and late-night musing 🍵🐋🍂
she/they

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

Pop quiz! Why does my back hurt?
A) picked up something too heavy
B) PMS!
C) ate something funny, it's actually a stomach ache
D) girl you're just old now
E) all of the above!

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

@sunnyseeley !!!! Can't wait!! Your stories are some of my favorite

[Emily @writerofscratch]

Now seems like a funny moment to point out that Quidditch is a mixed-sex full-contact sport.

[Hozier Updates 🌼 @UpdatesHozier]

🚨| New EP coming this July!!

Hozier has released a snippet of the song ‘July’ which apparently will be part of a new Extended Play record!!

July is in two days!!! Can’t wait for it!!! 🖤

[xX💧WOKE Karrot🐀 Xx @Endlessspirals]

If you guys have the chance please take this Uquiz, I'm not going to spoil it but it's not what you think it is and I'm literally in tears rn.
https://t.co/rkgRFwKOMP

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

@sunnyseeley !!!!!!! Eeeeee!

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

@tickenz It's like riding a bike. Only you're drunk

[awpSOL5 @awpSOL5]

new wallpaper..

[mikal bridges' jorts @waystarroyhoe]

on the right side of history (always knowing manny jacinto was hot)

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

Constantly thankful for apps with the "edit" feature in their messaging platform so I can fix the typos in the last words of my messaged

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

I'm glad kids are still doing lemonade stands 😊 🍋

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

@tickenz Nahhhh

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

@sunnyseeley https://t.co/3XbB8CLEWQ
Nerd Fitness is fun! They have a fun easy kettlebell set too if that's your jam

[Kale Williams @sfkale]

a truck carrying 100k chinook salmon smolts (yay!) crashed in eastern oregon and flipped over (oh no!) but did so right above a creek (yay!) and a bunch died (oh no!) but more than 75k of them were inadvertently released and will likely return there to spawn as adults (yay!)

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

@tickenz I thought I was dying in college because I was taking my vitamin first thing in the morning and would get super nauseous... Took me weeks to figure out I just had to take them at night 🙃

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

I've completed the "throw neighbor's ball back over fence" sidequest! I'm leveling up in Suburban Neighbor!

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

Between Dune 2 and Furiosa, 2024 is looking like a good year for movies about sand 🏜️

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

@sunnyseeley No filter needed, you're stunning 🤩

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

Me and @TeacherH3ro

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

@sunnyseeley Impossible 🥰💜

[Emily! 🐳 @EmSarich]

@sunnyseeley I want to be like you when I grow up 🥰