-34 y/o trying to master trading and break out of mediocrity
-Learning from @Moneytaur_ and @Larskooistra_
This is my journal where I hold myself accountable.
Turned 34 yesterday.
Still trying to make my way out of the hamster wheel.
I've grown up in a family of ordinary, hard working people. Extremely kind - but now, when I am better able to see things for what they really are - their relationship with money was never aligned with monetary success.
No entrepreneurship, no investing, no business, no out of the box thinking. They just believed in hard work, using their own bare hands.
When I was little, every time a nice car would pass us by, my mom would say: "Wow, this man is probably really wealthy."
Every time we'd see a nice house, my grandad would say: "only high rollers can afford this".
They would say it in a tone as if achieving these kind of things were completely out of the question for us. Unreachable.
Scarcity mentality.
Not because they did not want more money, they simply did not know any better, and most definitely I am not blaming anyone here.
For very long, I firmly believed it and operated under that programming of scarcity.
Now, with some life experience under my belt, consciously, I am well aware that we can become anything we want; we can achieve anything we want.
But subconsciously, this old programming still makes its way to the surface from time to time.
"What if I am really not worthy of this", "What if I really can't be successful", "Am I really made for this" - to this day, I detect these thoughts popping into the back of my mind, constantly.
And you know what is really great at uncovering all the mental flaws one has installed?
Obviously, trading.
Because in trading, the moment you let these thoughts take over, you're going to get nowhere. Like a switch - once such doubts enter your mind, they inhibit the profitable version of yourself and revert you back to the state of bad relationship with money, which equals to unprofitable, impulsive, emotional trading.
Maybe this is why it's taking a while for me to get there.
Anyhow.
I am taking up trading to prove to myself that mind can be reprogrammed. That I can be successful. That I can be an evolution of my bloodline. That I can operate from, and LIVE in, the state of abundance.
I am taking up trading so that one day I can provide freedom and security for my own family I have created and love dearly. Recent world events show that being able to move fast and not be tied to one place is an absolute necessity.
I am not there yet, but I've made a conscious decision to keep pursuing as long as it takes.
I won't take no for an answer.
I don't know how, I don't know when, but I WILL become a consistently profitable trader. Too much is at stake for the outcome to be any different. My worst fear is being unable to protect and take care of my people should things get really bad, therefore, I simply DO NOT have any other option but to get good at this.
Let's see if this will be the year.
Monthly Recap - May (week 30)
That 1st week of May was pretty telling. It was bit of a difficult month for me. Combination of factors:
- being just a bit too reckless with taking suboptimal setups. I got overconfident, not by a lot, but enough to go into drawdown, especially coupled with the fact that...
- the market offered less opportunities for my strategy in general. So many of the setups I was eyeing either frontran my entry zones or got completely invalidated.
PnL in May was negative, yes, but I've learnt (or re-learnt) the value of just sitting on my hands if no real setup appears on the chart. Patience is key.
After reflection, I should 1) have taken less trades, 2) have been better prepared to execute some others and in theory, net result could have been break-evenish or marginally profitable.
Shoulda woulda coulda - bottom line is that I did not do that well in May and only my performance moving forward will tell whether the lessons have been learnt.
At least the "reflections" tab in my journal got a healthy boost.
Anyhow, it's been 30 weeks now since I am continuously updating this X with full transparency.
I've come from basically a consistent loser (just go back to my old feed) to producing a positive PnL curve in almost 100 trades (journal is tracking data since 13th of March)
Still a TON to improve on, but the trajectory is encouraging.
May June treat you well guys.
Weekly Recap - Week 26
-4.5% for the week
Got beaten this time around. One of those weeks where I couldn't get anything going with the setups I had access to, and some others I've been watching confirmed (and played out) while I was asleep.
Some bad variance involved, but I was not fault proof either. A few % extra lost due to non optimal position sizing and weak(ish) confirmations.
I've journaled all the trades, made some conclusions and also did other 'homework' in terms of analytics. Having my own custom built app for journaling + AI helps a ton with this.
Let's see what this week has in store.
Good luck in the markets everyone.
Weekly Recap - Week 26
-4.5% for the week
Got beaten this time around. One of those weeks where I couldn't get anything going with the setups I had access to, and some others I've been watching confirmed (and played out) while I was asleep.
Some bad variance involved, but I was not fault proof either. A few % extra lost due to non optimal position sizing and weak(ish) confirmations.
I've journaled all the trades, made some conclusions and also did other 'homework' in terms of analytics. Having my own custom built app for journaling + AI helps a ton with this.
Let's see what this week has in store.
Good luck in the markets everyone.
Weekly Recap - Week 24
-0.68% for the week.
Fumbled the execution royally. Journal says I left +6.8% on the table last week:
- USDCHF trade I closed at +0.56% when it was supposed to be a +5.5% trade (premature closure of a trade due to perceived weakness in price which was simply manipulation)
- Silver trade that was supposed to be a -1% loss but I turned it into a -2.8% loss because of unnecessary re-entries.
Other than that, pretty standard trades.
Obviously I can't be happy with the outcome because in theory it was another great week, I simply just did not take what was available.
Can't afford to leave 6Rs on the table per week if I want to be where I want to be so yeah, there's work to do.
Lastly, I'd really like to keep the amount of trades taken below 10 on a weekly basis. Atm usually landing at 11.
Let's end April strong and I'll be back with a monthly recap. 💪
Monthly Recap - April
The month of April is now behind us and as promised I am back with a monthly review.
+18.01% for the month.
Mixed feelings about this.
On one hand, if anybody would have told me on April 1st that I'd pull 18%, I would have signed up for it immediately.
On the other hand, I OBJECTIVELY know how many R's I still left on the table. This easily could have been a 25%+ month.
Anyhow, some more specific details.
The month was won by 3 key shorts - Monad (10r), OIL(7.6r) and Polygon (5.4r) - and very disciplined risk management. Really happy about this part.
Everything else was pretty much just noise in the form of overtrading.
Going into next month, I need to:
- reduce this noise drastically. This means working on setup selection and confirmation quality. Hopefully this improves winrate as a result.
- maintain the quality of risk management.
and the results should take care of themselves.
May is my favorite month of the year, let's see what it has in store.
Good luck everyone!
Weekly Recap - Week 24
-0.68% for the week.
Fumbled the execution royally. Journal says I left +6.8% on the table last week:
- USDCHF trade I closed at +0.56% when it was supposed to be a +5.5% trade (premature closure of a trade due to perceived weakness in price which was simply manipulation)
- Silver trade that was supposed to be a -1% loss but I turned it into a -2.8% loss because of unnecessary re-entries.
Other than that, pretty standard trades.
Obviously I can't be happy with the outcome because in theory it was another great week, I simply just did not take what was available.
Can't afford to leave 6Rs on the table per week if I want to be where I want to be so yeah, there's work to do.
Lastly, I'd really like to keep the amount of trades taken below 10 on a weekly basis. Atm usually landing at 11.
Let's end April strong and I'll be back with a monthly recap. 💪
"Delay is the first proof that the dream is real. If your reward was meant to be small, it would have arrived by now. But the fact that you are waiting, the fact that it has not come yet, is not proof of denial; it is the first and greatest proof that the dream you carry is of substance. Delay is heaven's way of verifying whether your desire is a spark or a flame. Only flames are worthy of fuel.
The size of your dream determines the size of your delay. A man who wishes for ease will be given quickly what he asks, but a man who dares to demand greatness, he will be delayed, not because he is forgotten, but because the structure must be fortified first. Too many lose heart in the delay, because they believe the silence means denial, but the silence is not opposition; it is refinement. It is the pause between planting and harvest."
- Neville Goddard
When I heard this quote, it really resonated with what I have been feeling at my current point in the trading journey. Sometimes I feel like I need to be farther along in the journey, but I have to remember it is a process, and I am exactly where I need to be.
If you are feeling this at your current stage, double down on your faith in the process and your dream ⚡️
Weekly Recap - Week 24
-0.68% for the week.
Fumbled the execution royally. Journal says I left +6.8% on the table last week:
- USDCHF trade I closed at +0.56% when it was supposed to be a +5.5% trade (premature closure of a trade due to perceived weakness in price which was simply manipulation)
- Silver trade that was supposed to be a -1% loss but I turned it into a -2.8% loss because of unnecessary re-entries.
Other than that, pretty standard trades.
Obviously I can't be happy with the outcome because in theory it was another great week, I simply just did not take what was available.
Can't afford to leave 6Rs on the table per week if I want to be where I want to be so yeah, there's work to do.
Lastly, I'd really like to keep the amount of trades taken below 10 on a weekly basis. Atm usually landing at 11.
Let's end April strong and I'll be back with a monthly recap. 💪
Weekly Recap - Week 23
+6.91% for the week.
Started off really slow, just could not get anything going.
My setups were either getting front ran, invalidated or stopped. I managed risk really really well though, and did not fall into any sort of mental tilt. This kept me in a small, controlled DD.
Then on Friday I entered a short on Monad which turned into an almost 10R realised trade and that was the week.
Really shows how super high winrate isn't necessary as long as risk is managed well. Though I still need to work on eliminating some of the unnecessary trades being taken.
5 out of last 6 weeks have been positive. Really encouraging, but still A LOT of space for improvement.
Have a great week ahead everyone.
Weekly Recap - Week 23
+6.91% for the week.
Started off really slow, just could not get anything going.
My setups were either getting front ran, invalidated or stopped. I managed risk really really well though, and did not fall into any sort of mental tilt. This kept me in a small, controlled DD.
Then on Friday I entered a short on Monad which turned into an almost 10R realised trade and that was the week.
Really shows how super high winrate isn't necessary as long as risk is managed well. Though I still need to work on eliminating some of the unnecessary trades being taken.
5 out of last 6 weeks have been positive. Really encouraging, but still A LOT of space for improvement.
Have a great week ahead everyone.
Weekly Recap - Week 22
Decided to keep recapping weekly as it does help with accountability and consistency.
Luckily now I have my own journal with objective metrics which will be easy to share.
Generally, a good week that could have been a great one had I not overtraded.
Noticed a pattern in me that once I start doing well, I become a lot more trigger happy and enter immature setups.
It's not only about learning to stop losing, it's also about learning to win.
On the positive side, my risk management and 'stick-to-the-plan' type of execution was really solid this week. Kept my L's small and wins both, small and big. Something I want to keep exercising moving forward.
Coupled with better selection of setups, it should provide a big bump in performance.
Overall, I've been logging my trades in this custom journal since the 13th of March. PnL looks nice, mostly due to the fact that I've been positioned alongside Trump before his 'talks' on 2 occasions, but still a lot of mistakes were made and the result could have been quite a lot better.
Weekly Recap - Week 22
Decided to keep recapping weekly as it does help with accountability and consistency.
Luckily now I have my own journal with objective metrics which will be easy to share.
Generally, a good week that could have been a great one had I not overtraded.
Noticed a pattern in me that once I start doing well, I become a lot more trigger happy and enter immature setups.
It's not only about learning to stop losing, it's also about learning to win.
On the positive side, my risk management and 'stick-to-the-plan' type of execution was really solid this week. Kept my L's small and wins both, small and big. Something I want to keep exercising moving forward.
Coupled with better selection of setups, it should provide a big bump in performance.
Overall, I've been logging my trades in this custom journal since the 13th of March. PnL looks nice, mostly due to the fact that I've been positioned alongside Trump before his 'talks' on 2 occasions, but still a lot of mistakes were made and the result could have been quite a lot better.
Quarterly recap - Q1
Hey everyone, how things been.
Haven't been active on X as of late, but I am still showing up every day trading and trying to master the craft.
Since the title of my X says "... where I hold myself accountable", I will continue doing so publicly - I just don't know what the interval of these updates is going to be moving forward - weekly, monthly, etc. We'll see.
Anyhow, back to the topic.
This Q really boosted my belief that I actually can turn into a consistently profitable trader.
I've learnt a bunch, I made a million mistakes, but bottom line is that I produced a positive PnL curve for the 1st Q of the year (including spot, futures, options, everything).
Can't be arsed to hide the Y axis (USD value) - feel free to make fun of the small size I am playing with, but just remember that I am not willing to increase my position sizing before data clearly shows that I actually can win.
Which is now starting to look something like it.
In the past 3 months, I've also had way less moments of despair where the mission of becoming a good trader feels impossible. Big improvement over the vast majority of 2025. 😃
Besides that, I built my own trading journal which actually is really fun to use (maybe cause it's my own haha) and so moving forward I'll be able to share actual PnL curves and stats derived from it rather than simply typing results in a post. That way data will be more trustworthy :)
My biggest areas for improvement in Q2 are:
- Improved setup selection. I still sometimes force unnecessary plays;
- Strict consistency in risk management. I've set myself a goal to not lose more than 1% on a single futures / options trade in April. Just to exercise that disciplined execution.
As for Q2 goals, besides the obvious one, which is trying to maintain the upwards trajectory of my journey, I will aim to...
- Pass at least 1 decent propfirm challenge (at least $50k) to really start scaling my personal capital
That's all I had to share for now.
Hope everyone is doing well and lastly, Happy Easter🐔