Losing you is part of life, even though I didn’t expect it so early, I accepted it a long time ago. But watching you suffer as you go away, was never in my thoughts.. xx
I’m the weakest person for this, I don’t have the stomach for it, but somehow I gotta accept it. Gotta play it strong, act as if I’m normal, smile when I see people because that’s what expected of me but on the inside, indescribably dead.. xx
I accept everything Allah throws at me with gratitude, if this is what my destiny holds then Alhamdulillah, you know what’s best for me, I’m just not strong enough to see the people I adore in pain.. xx
It’s sounds like I’m cappin’ but you know I’ll do it and if anything I’m only staying behind till I get those we love situated right, then I’ll be on my way to you!!!
I don’t wanna lose you, but I don’t want you to suffer. I want to give you so much but I don’t want you to go through agony till we get there. I don’t want you to go alone but I want to take care of the ones you leave behind as my last gift to you.. xx
Sounds harsh n all but I believe God’s greatest gift to us is ‘the ability to take your own life’, that’s the ultimate freedom to me. Sadly due to too much responsibility, some of us don’t even have that luxury.. xx
I wanted to show her a better life, I always thought my purpose in life was to make her happy, ain’t got no time left, gotta try to do that through misery & pain now, if it makes any sense.. xx