Emily Bolton

She/her.
Strugg2func.
Saving myself for a fiddle leaf fig tree.

[Timothée Chalamet @RealChalamet]

HUGHMPA LOOMPA DOOPATY GRANT

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@ker19881 Cool! I’d so prefer to live with a bunch of cats than a man who tries to police the way I live and guilts me for doing the things I enjoy! You’re pathetic haha ‘females’ you’re really not helping your case. Bye incel ☺️

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@ker19881 I have nothing more to add, if you genuinely don’t see a problem with his behaviour. And i never called you an incel… or anything derogatory- that’s been all you. but preemptively claiming to not be one is very incel-like just fyi.

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@ker19881 ‘If he continued to make them but didn’t leave I’d agree it is abusive’ well that is exactly what he did… this went on for months… and he was successful in making her limit her social interactions and turn down job opportunities for him to the point where she felt isolated

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@ker19881 From Encyclopaedia Britannica… ‘ULTIMATUM meaning: a final threat. a promise that force or punishment will be used if someone does not do what is wanted.’
It’s literally in the definition. It’s a final demand designed to get someone to fall in line to avoid consequences.

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@ker19881 No. There’s no scenario in which it’s ok to even try to put boundaries around someone else and how they can behave/dress/interact with others/do their job/post on social media. This is not a boundary. This is control. If you disagree then good luck to the women in your life.

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@ker19881 What he did was more than having a conversation about it. In one of the texts he told her she wasn’t doing enough when she showed him which photos she had removed. He guilted her into believing that it was on her to fix his insecurities and save the relationship.

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@blfox002 @KM_Clothes @MayMay685 @kannngthe @DailyLoud I’m ok with not calling it abuse- not interested in the definition of it so much as just wanting to show people that there’s a real difference between setting boundaries (which are meant to be for yourself) and making demands of someone that limits their agency & body autonomy.

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@blfox002 @KM_Clothes @MayMay685 @kannngthe @DailyLoud there are many forms and levels of abuse and based on what I’ve seen this to me in the realm of coercive control as he did manage to get her to take photos down and do these other things to appease him. One person’s experience should never diminish another’s- it’s no competition

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@ker19881 nice job trying to belittle my intelligence simply because you aren’t liking what I’m saying. Name calling is always a solid way to get your point across! My point is that ultimatums are based on control and boundaries are limits you put on yourself, not on another person.

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@ker19881 He put the blame on her for his own issues and made her feel like she was in the wrong instead of saying ‘this isn’t working for me, I have some issues I need to address’ he said ‘take these photos down, stop doing abc, because I don’t like it, or else I’ll walk’

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@ker19881 You missed the entire point. An ultimatum is not a boundary. Two different things. Google is your friend. telling someone to change their whole lifestyle (which initially drew you to them) whilst not making any compromises or changes yourself is not ‘setting boundaries’.

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@blfox002 @KM_Clothes @MayMay685 @kannngthe @DailyLoud But she was the only one having to make compromises. He acts with women. She got into a relationship with him knowing that was part of his job. If she told him not to take parts that involved speaking to other women I swear people would be calling her controlling and insecure.

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@ker19881 Are you serious? An ultimatum is a threat. Google ultimatums in relationships and that might help you understand the difference between a boundary (something you put in place for yourself to follow) vs an ultimatum which is manipulating a person to change to follow your rules.

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@KM_Clothes @MayMay685 @kannngthe @blfox002 @DailyLoud Jonah got into a relationship with Sarah based on her being a cool surfer chick and then immediately tries to restrict her lifestyle, making her take down photos, telling her who she could interact with at her job, what she could wear. That’s control, not ‘boundaries’.

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@KM_Clothes @MayMay685 @kannngthe @blfox002 @DailyLoud Setting a boundary is something for yourself to follow, not a set of rules that another person has to comply to in order to keep you happy. You don’t get into a relationship with someone knowing things about them that you then turn around and tell them they can’t do anymore.

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@ker19881 Ultimatums are never healthy lmao. And telling a woman that she can’t interact with other single men, or wear certain items of clothing, or post certain images, after knowing that these things are all part of her lifestyle from the beginning, is ridiculous and controlling

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@ThatYotaGuy @MeltedMindz @DailyLoud If he were setting boundaries he wouldn’t have got into a relationship with a woman who didn’t fit his very strict ideals. Or he would have walked away when he became insecure. Setting boundaries isn’t placing a set of rules that someone else needs to follow to make you happy.

[Emily Bolton @EmilyBolts]

@Tiikerima @HypeDuck1 @HeshComps @DailyLoud He slid into her DMs after seeing a pic of her surfing in a swimsuit, got into a relationship with her knowing that posting these kinds of images is part of her job and lifestyle, and then uses that against her when it makes him insecure. How is that fair on her?