Emily Burke

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

“You look like a tourist” We’re in a surf town in a Muslim country… no shit I look like a tourist

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

can we normalize NOT confusing someone’s FREE time with their availability

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

hot dogs from sheetz at midnight are never a good idea

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

If I ever post from Biltmore just know I am NOT there by choice

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

You know your family is old when we have a group email not a group text 😂

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

Woke up and felt edgy so decided to start a fight between my divorced parents 😂

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

YOU CANT ADVERTISE YOUR HVAC COMPANY AS 24/7 IF YOU CHARGE A OVERTIME FEE! FUCK YOU CAPITALISM!

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

Millennials… can we agree to be the generation that stops doing commemorative coins? cause like why?

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

I’ve seen the 100th episode of criminal minds probably 10 times and every time I still bawl like a BABY

[Bojangles @Bojangles]

Am I hungry or do I just want Bo's? 👀

[elle ✨ @heyellehogan]

This early dating tip surprised my guy friends:

Never make jokes about a woman’s safety.

Example: She says she’s sharing her location with friends during your date. Do NOT say “What, you don’t trust me?!”

It activates an ick so primal, so powerful, that you will not recover.

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

At my thanksgiving three women just left the one man to finish dinner while they got in the hot tub. Nature is finally healing.

[⋆˚࿔ sagé 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ @sagethetaurus__]

Not a single man I’ve encountered has been smarter than me

[𝐵𝒶𝒸𝓀𝓌𝑜𝑜𝒹𝓈 𝐵𝒶𝓇𝒷𝒾𝑒 🎀 @BunnySlop]

there is nothing more beautiful than a gorgoues woman who loves taco bell

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

No one but me cares but the person who came up with the new lease accounting rules can RAWT IN HELL

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

I just put my duvet in the cover sideways and didn’t realize till it was too late and it wasn’t fitting correctly and honestly it might be my 13th reason 😩

[lauren @winonaddict]

this diva omg

[Zoya🕊️ @Zoya_ki_batein]

I will marry a man who is sweet to me. Life is too short to spend it with a guy who got zero emotional intelligence.

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

and i just want to be clear in case anyone from the company sees this… it is 100000% managements fault

[Emily Burke @EmilyBurke12]

It’s really hard working for a company and loving it and the people you work with and having that change so now it’s the thing you hate the most