I love my family, but I don't want them.
This isn't the case of "I love you, but I don't like you". Because I love my siblings and friends just as much as I like them. But Im selfish.
I did not go to art school, and somewhere along the way developed a complex about "screwing up" beautiful, clean sheets of paper and using up/running out of expensive mediums and not being able to replace them.
And it reminds me that being a "fan" is really dangerous territory, and hinging your sanity or your life being "saved" by another human being is disempowering rhetoric. That's why MCR stopped using it and opted to talk instead about how everyone saves themselves, in
what is up with washing machines why are you giving me a howard shore level symphony why is there a rising crescendo that tapers down abruptly you can try to hide it but there's a countdown somewhere in the chaos buddy a person can't take a dump without fearing the annihilation
Only to realize how utterly pointless it was. I was just doing it to make myself feel better, and it didn't fix a single thing. It just gave them more room to mess with my head.
Replying to @comixgail I started volunteering at our local community garden. I smuggle out pickling cucumbers 🥒 under my cap. The dill is just weeds so no one notices.
Yet, within hours or days, I slip back into my old habits, finding it difficult to truly maintain and integrate the new ones. That’s why my question isn't really about the teachings themselves, but about their practical application.
But remembering those Sonic movies that some fans are praising, I just don't think they're that special at all. I guess Ben Schwartz and Colleen O'Shaughnessey do good as Sonic and Tails.
It destroyed my self esteem and made me believe I actually had cheated until I got therapy and got on anxiety medication to realise I did nothing wrong, all I did was play Minecraft and cross dressed as a joke.
Wisdom helps us speak at the right time, stay silent at the right time, and choose what leads to peace and growth.
Today, don’t only pray for blessings, pray for wisdom. One wise decision can change everything.
Prayer:
Lord, fill me with Your wisdom today.