FallApartBackTogether

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

The skills that led me deep into my healing over the last ten years are no longer enough/the right fit/what I currently need. Instead of trying to force them to work past their expiration date, I am remembering that remaining a student + asking for help are signs of strength.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

You’re not cheating at being a person if sometimes you need to do DRASTIC and DRAMATIC things to make shift happen in your life. Energy is real, bitches. If Big Shit energy gets you going, go after that Big Shit energy, babies.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

What if life doesn’t happen TO us, but THROUGH us. What if we’re not meant to make meaning of things. What if experiencing each jolt of energy — and the way it feels and moves in these human-shaped shells — is the whole point. What if we’re way off the mark. (I think we are.) x.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

You don’t have to be an expert on anything or have things locked down to be able to talk about them on Instagram or anywhere else. Let’s normalize being in proximity to people who are just out here being people, supporting us with their own humanity without implying we’re broken.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

Stop putting pressure on people to perform happiness about various “be happy!” life happenings. You can be sad on your birthday. You can be anxious on vacation. You can be skeptical or melancholy or just achingly, amorphously “meh-ugh???” even when you’re “supposed to be” happy.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

We’re allowed to stop apologizing for the ways in which we’ve managed the pain. For the drugs, the drinking, the self-harm, + even for thinking they’d be better off without us here. We’re all just trying to live through some kind of pain, + the way you’ve coped is not shameful.*

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

Parts of today were hard. And yet my willingness to be fully in + with the hard in myself makes me more compassionate toward the hard others share with me.

I can’t sit with you in your hard if I can’t sit with myself in mine.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

Finding the strength to say the things we’ve been told are The Most Not Okay to say is so important for our emotional health; we can’t be fully emotionally well when we are carrying thoughts around that feel too dirty + stigmatized to speak aloud. Our complete humanity is worthy.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

WHY I CHANGED MY @ FROM
@TheFeralTherapist ——> to ——>
@FallApartBackTogether ⤵️
1). I’m embracing being fully human, and labeling myself as a therapist in this space feels limiting.
2). I like the idea of a tiny buffer between me and labels and the world.
3). FABT is so good.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

Friendly reminder that if you can’t think of anything clear/concise/witty/
relevant to say on social media, that’s okay. That’s it. That’s the whole friendly reminder.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

You’re not bad at being substance-free if you sometimes wish you still allowed yourself access to the things that made you think you were forgetting. (We were never really forgetting, just avoiding.) Living life without escape is hard. It’s okay to miss the
(perceived) breaks.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

A life full of simple things can be a beautiful + enriching life. Let yourself let go of the idea that things need to be dramatic + extreme to be worth having/experiencing; being unable to savor the tiny, secret moments in our lives can be a sign of comparison being over-valued.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

It’s okay if the thought you have most often about your harmful parent is, “I’m so glad you’re not in my life anymore.” You fought hard for this peace. Enjoy it.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

Tell me you hold harmful beliefs about race, gender, class, sexuality, etc. without actually telling me:

“When did we become a society who can’t disagree with each other about our beliefs?”

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

Accepting low standards for ourselves means we unconsciously need other people to accept *lower* standards so we can feel okay/somewhat dignified about *our* low standards.

This is how perpetually declining levels of acceptability persist.

Demand better from a healthy place.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

Our passionate commitment to “good enough” is keeping us here — in this place where abuse is explained away as “trying our best”, where hate is rationalized through academic language, where relational mediocrity is “better than nothing.” Let’s all raise our standards, together.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

YOU CAN BE A MINDFUL, GROUNDED, AND EMOTIONALLY AWARE AND STILL BE VOCAL, ENERGETIC, AND ANIMATED AS FUCK ABOUT THE THINGS YOU CARE ABOUT. CALM, QUIET, AND PASSIVE DOES NOT EQUAL BETTER. STOP PUTTING BULLSHIT LIMITATIONS ON WHAT INTERNAL ALIGNMENT IS ALLOWED TO LOOK LIKE.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

Parenting tweens and teenagers is not innately difficult. It’s our resistance to looking at the feelings — and the often-reactive resulting actions of those feelings — that the more liberated behavior of our kids brings up in us that’s actually robustly difficult for many of us.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

I am so fucking tired of fucking with energy that brings me down and suffocates me. Yet working to continue to reveal and uncover the weak spots in my character without becoming a pile of self-loathing garbage is a hard dance for me. I want to be better and I want to be okay. x.

[FallApartBackTogether @EmilyRVBallard]

Sometimes I can’t believe any of us try to fuck with each other at all. Like, so many of us are so consistently disappointed with what people bring to our doorstep it just doesn’t seem worth it for anyone. #AreYouSureYouWantToBother is going to be my new pre-conversation mantra.