Emily Stevens

If you can’t blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit.

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

Current mental state:
Sitting in an abandoned parking lot by myself, drinking a Chick-fil-A milkshake, blasting Fleetwood Mac

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

@jazytab POV I’m the second grader you work with

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

It’s the man revving the engine of his Subaru for me

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

@jacko7921 No…no
Too soon

[heather @heatherhcw]

My brain attempting to process J.Lo and Ben Affleck, John Mulaney’s divorce, John Mulaney and Olivia Munn, and the new CDC guidelines

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

Me: *in the middle of an existential crisis*
My iced coffee: you should add baileys to me

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

Fall in love with yourself

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

@jacko7921 Can I be the sidekick

[Jaela @JaeB1rd]

Should’ve been a Psychology major🥴

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

Anyone else traumatized by these fuckers

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

@atclairew @jacko7921 Soy Yo...constant repeat

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

@boyscoutscookie Wouldn’t be who I am without Bertha

[Ethan @boyscoutscookie]

The kids who drove mini vans in highschool are the backbone of our society

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

@jacko7921 People who like oatmeal raisin cookies are elite honestly

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

@atclairew Stop, I hate this

[San Miguel Sheriff @SheriffAlert]

A large boulder the size of a large boulder is blocking the southbound lane Hwy 145 mm28 in Stoner Creek area of Montezuma County. Expect delays. #largeboulder

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

@jacko7921 THATS WHAT I SAID!!!!

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

I think everyone needs to have at least one drug dealer on Snapchat

[Zi 👑 @zi_was_here]

NBA players sliding into Kim’s DMs after she divorces Kanye

[Emily Stevens @EmilyStevens42]

@atclairew I feel personally attacked by this statement