Emily

winging it at this point

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

Despite regular rounding on Barry the bee, he has succumbed to his demise. Buzz in peace, buddy!

Died with sugar water and flowers rather than by a shoe.

(Picture from when Barry defied the odds and got off the hospital bed (a leaf)).

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

My friend actually had to ditch the last of her sausage baguette this morning because of that finger being fixed in The Pitt. I finished mine. Which one of us works in healthcare?

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

Watched some ballet last night for my friend’s showcase. Felt very cultured. Resisted the urge to quote Cam from Modern Family (“I just wanna dance at the ballet”). Cheered for every single person in that place like a proud mother.

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

I was informed they look for someone safe as they are vulnerable so I’ll quit whining

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

Why my flatmate’s dog needs to look me in the eye as he takes a piss, I do not know

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

Vacuumed up a spider today. Such a brave girl.

[𝓂𝒶𝓇𝒾𝒶 ✴︎ @mariaoarchive]

please don’t underestimate my ability to forget the contents of a book I loved deeply

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

My favourite booking note slot today was “in a lot of pain with pain”

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

So that 30 year old plumber who asked my mother (56) if she was single, text her last night. Just ‘checking on the toilet’. Sweetheart, she already told you her son is older than you. As Elsa would say, let it go

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

Wimbledon on. Strawberries present. No cream though. Unless i wanna try it with soured cream? (I don’t)

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

Went back to my old place earlier and my flatmate says she gets excited at 5pm thinking I’m going to be home soon and then gets sad when she remembers I’ve left. #bestroommateever

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

And this morning I answered the door to the scaffolder who apologised for waking me up. I’d been up for 3 hours. Glad to know I looked like I had just rolled out of bed #geneticswho?

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

My mother has had two tradesmen over recently and both outwardly asked if she was single and told her they were. (Separate days, separate people) One of which, 30. Younger than her son. And she’s concerned she’s looking old at 56. Lies, woman!

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

Oh ffs it’s been going on for years

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

“Why do you have such small hands?”

Sorry mum but it’s a result of half of your genetics

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

Waiting for an ankle assessment because my nursing skills aren’t nursing it better, and a patient is here for stitches removal and I’m like just give her here, I can knock that one off your list. Might as well triage while I wait, help out…. 😂

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

10 years and 3 kids later my brother has FINALLY proposed before they go and see @LewisCapaldi tonight! Many congratulations to Dan and Chloe 🥂💗

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

My colleagues want to invest in a bell for me because apparently I keep scaring them? Oh so nimble

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

It was a vitamin D deficiency xo

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

gorgeous, gorgeous girls sleep too much and still say they’re tired

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

No because the tweet about having small hands was said to me a little while ago. Today reception said that a patient was saying is the reason I can’t do compression because of my small hands?! (It’s because I’ve yet to any training). Nah what’s going on lol

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

Why my flatmate’s dog needs to look me in the eye as he takes a piss, I do not know

[Emily @Emily_Keast]

Patient: you’ve got such small hands
Me: thanks?
Patient: have you ever thought about lambing? We could use you