My bro: Emma I need help
Me: what’s up?
Bro: I washed my face with dish soap and now it’s dry and hurts
Me:.. why would you do that?
Bro: it said it cuts grease and my face was really greasy dude, I’m sick of acne
Opening presents and 75% of my dads presents are signed from the dog instead of my mom and she says “ah yeah I was mad it you when I wrapped those sorry”