Ebuka

Greatness

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

@nwidele I don't understand why it would be an issue unless you've got some old and busted views of hierarchy in relationships.Sure. As long as she didn’t resent or belittle me for it. Which is where the problem lies.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

In my experience, it's not about what I think about such woman but what such woman thinks about me. The popular saying "women don't date down" exists for a reason.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

As it says: Be easy to find, hard to reach.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

No one is busier than someone who is not interested in you.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

Because people take good things for granted. The grass is always greener on the other side. People are not appreciative for what they have until one day it is gone. Then it’s too late and this person is forever gone.

I guess learn to appreciate the good people in your life. And make sure you treat them good because one day they will stop responding to you and because they found someone who treats them good.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

Managers use this to see if you will disparage a former boss or company. If you do, it is an indicator that you might do the same to them.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

@superkathee I stopped caring what people thought of me years ago. Whenever anyone insults or runs me down, or I find out about it, I picture them naked sitting on a toilet. That's how much better they are than everyone else.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

@MargaretYanki1 Because we also want to be wanted back or atleast the illusion of it. Sex is extremely undesirable if its one sided.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

I Might just be me speaking, but paying for s€x doesn’t make me feel like I earned it, & there’s no passion or excitement there, just fulfilling a raw need. And if that’s the case. I’d rather just watch porn for free or even use my imagination instead.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

S3x is the closest you'll ever get to someone's soul & people just turned it into a hobby, but I guess that's a coversation we not ready for.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

If you both truly love and care about each other, you’ll each want to give more than you receive. On the other hand, when the ratio of give to take is perpetually unbalanced, it’s time to re-evaluate the health of the relationship.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.Prove yourself to yourself not others.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

Some people enjoy s€x with their spouse enough to prioritize it over doom scrolling & have it daily. - (Check on your smart phone right now for the average amount of time daily you spend on social media or on internet for entertainment. Don’t guess, actually check. Now ask yourself would your relationship be better off if you took some time away from your phone weekly & spent it being intimate with your spouse? Doesn’t have to be only s€x. Now ask your spouse the same question). Different people enjoy different amounts of it. & sometimes that doesn’t fade away after a month or 2. Everyone is different. Not all s€x has to be a big production lasting hours.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

You get a gut feeling it is the end . Your gut is correct over time.

[Ebuka @Emzy_p2]

True

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

You get a gut feeling it is the end . Your gut is correct over time.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

Agree! true family is about loyalty, care, & support. "Chosen family" includes friends who help you in tough times. Blood just makes you relatives. Family means love, trust, & being there. It is like a team. They cheer for you & lift you up. You can build this team with people you choose.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

Too unavailable...there's no relationship if you're not available...betwn being too available" advice gets wildly misapplied. There's a difference between being present & enthusiastic versus being clingy or having zero life outside the relationship, & plenty of people can't tell those apart so they just repeat the rule like it's gospel.

If your work & hobbies weren't slipping, you weren't doing anything wrong.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

S€x, convenience, emotional support, someone to do his laundry, cooking or whatever else you do for him. He’s a user and you are allowing it.

What about what you want? If you want a relationship and he sees no future with you, go go go. Staying will hurt more than leaving, though leaving may hurt more in the short run.

It breaks my heart how many women allow men to dictate their lives. He’s not the boss of you, unless you allow it. Of course this situation is not gender specific; sometimes it’s the woman using the man. Either way, time to let go and be kinder to yourself.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

@nwidele You start wondering if the relationship is ending.

[Valentine @Va4obi2027]

The best breakups, in my experience, are breakups that are (a) Clear & direct, without evasion; (b) Not blaming or judgmental; & (c) Make plain that the relationship is over, & will not be coming back.

“I am breaking up with you. I do not feel that we are well-suited as partners. I’m sorry this didn’t work out. It’s always painful when a relationship ends, but I believe this is the right course of action.”