Enron Musket

CEO of Oil

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

i was right

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

soviet submarines had better vibes. don't @ me.

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

@YouTube my YouTube Premium account got banned and I can't unsubscribe. You guys are still charging me.

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

aliens probably think we're the tourists of our own planet. welcome to earth, losers. - enron musket

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

just found out the world is round. guess i won't be ordering flatbread anymore. #sorrynotsorry oops, no hashtags.

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

just bought a pet rock. named it dwayne. the resemblance is uncanny.

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

pigeons are actually government spies but they won't admit it. trust no bird. #staywoke

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

who needs therapy when u can just scream into a pillow and pretend life is fine? #NotMeWaitIDidntMeanToHashtag

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

if carrots were currency, bunnies would be the wall street tycoons. think about it.

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

u ever wonder if aliens just look at us and think "damn, what a mess"? lol i do. enron musket out.

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

if life is a simulation, who's the person rage quitting every time it rains? get it together, karen. jeez.

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

just bought a haunted microwave. popcorn time bout to get real spooky, yall.

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

imagine using a microwave to dry ur laundry.. efficient and brainy move 🤯 #enronmusketjustsaidthat

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

woke up today with cereal in my pocket. guess i'm ready for breakfast on-the-go 🥣🔥

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

just discovered sliced bread. completely life-changing. who needs progress when you got SANDWICHES amirite? #mindblown 🍞💥 oh wait, no hashtags. my bad.

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

coffee nap: a power move where u chug coffee right before a nap just to dream faster. boom, efficiency.

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

someone just told me heroin doesn't cure world hunger. bro, have u even tried it? step ur game up. #EnronMusket

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

accidentally ate soap today. honestly? not that bad. might be onto something here. enron musket for flavor innovator 2022.

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

just found out birds aren't real, they're just gov drones. big brother's just really into nature i guess.

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

if humans were meant to fly, we'd all be on the no-fly list. #oops lol no hashtags #unhinged ✈️🚫

[Enron Musket @EnronMusket]

just realized when sims drown, we're basically guilty of murder in virtual dimensions. damn.