StacIE

Came back to write more mediocre tweets, and to annoy the shit out of my followers with retweets of random things that make me laugh uncontrollably.

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

Everybody is out here buying new cars, and I'm like:

"Can I sell you a picture of my feet so I can buy this smoothie?"

[scha·den·freu·de  @BlisterPearl]

"Trickle down economics doesn't work, so let's try piñata economics. That's the one where we beat the billionaires until the hoarded wealth falls out."

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

Spurs are going to the finals baby!!!! Haven't been this excited since they faced the cavs a decade ago

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

2nd time seeing Tom Morello live, still no RATM 😔

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

Why do ALL 40 year old white women use talk to text.

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

@BuschPhysics @Variety Please tell me this is AI and never happened.

[( ›⩊‹ ) @supersoniqo]

i think its beautiful when a man is able to look past my mental disorder and love me for my boobs

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

@Trevornoah She told no lies

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

How in the actual fuck are we still here??? This charge is bullshit. ABC getting investigated again is bullshit. We are moving towards a dictatorship and nothing is getting done about it.

DOJ gets indictment against former FBI director James Comey : NPR https://t.co/CrMfaEXWQ0

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

Holy fucking shit was Drain good live

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

@RealDonKeith That IT guy is FINE and seems to have a fun personality. He looks ethnically ambiguous to me. Feel like the judge is upset a man of color can fix something in 3 seconds that confused his dumb honky ass. Sorry you're an ugly bitch.

[Scarlet💌🐾💋 @brinabusywoman]

“Men need to be masculine” actually this is the hottest thing a man has ever done

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

@squirtstain @mightbecake Your replies are killing me

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

I only knew Druski as the NASCAR guy. No idea who he actually was. Never watched the NASCAR video in full. Just found out from someone pushing AI who he actually is and my gasters are flabbered.

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

Death penalty. I'm only partially joking.

[dominic dyer @domdyer70]

A woman who’d raised Henry, a 13-year-old Lab, since he was a puppy was caught on camera removing his collar and abandoning him at a Washington park, then driving off in her Tesla.

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

@hasanthehun I feel like this dumbass doesn't know what a comma is.

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

I've always been happy about my Irish heritage, but the more Irish shit I learn about the less I want to be associated. Rape parades? Birth control issues? Connor McGregor. I mean come on.

[Paddystinian @Paddystinian]

Epstein files on St. Patrick's Day Ballinrobe, Co Mayo, Ireland 🇮🇪🤣

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

Why is this absolute bullshit showing up on my timeline??? I don't give a single fuck. Shut upppppp. If I wanted bullshit LinkedIn posts I would go there.

[Ethan Brooks @alt_w_v_g]

Had a parent-teacher conference this morning

My wife told me not to come

I came anyway

She said "please just listen and nod"

I said "I always listen"

She said "you listen like you're sitting in a boardroom looking for something to challenge"

That's how listening works

Nice classroom

Small chairs

I am 6'4" and was seated at a desk designed for someone who still believes in Santa Claus

My knees touched my chest

The teacher introduced herself

Shared her identified pronouns

I shared my identified adjectives

Smart and handsome

My wife closed her eyes

The teacher had a folder

Color-coded tabs

I respected the organization

She said our son is "a pleasure to have in class"

My wife smiled

I waited

That sentence is never the whole report

It's the executive summary before the risk section

She said "however"

There it is

She said he "asks a lot of questions"

I said "good"

She said "during quiet time"

I said "when is quiet time?"

She said "it's when students are expected to work independently and in silence"

I said "so he's the only one trying to get information and you've structured the environment to prevent it?"

My wife put her hand on my arm

I continued

The teacher said he recently told another student that "sharing pencils doesn't make sense if nobody brings their own"

I said "that's an accurate observation"

My wife squeezed harder

The teacher said she's concerned about his "resistance to group activities"

I said "he's not resistant. He just doesn't see the value of doing more work for the same grade."

The teacher said he also corrected her math on the whiteboard

I said "was he right?"

She paused

She said "that's not the point"

I said "it's a little bit the point"

My wife stood up

Sat back down

Compromise

The teacher pulled out an evaluation sheet

Categories like "works well with others" and "follows directions" and "respects classroom norms"

All subjective

Not a number on the page

I asked how these are graded

She said "based on observation"

I said "so one person's opinion with no second review?"

She said "it's professional judgment"

I said "my auditors say that too. Right before I disagree with them."

She looked at my wife

My wife said "I'm sorry about him"

I said "I'm sitting right here"

My wife said "I know"

The teacher said overall he's a bright kid and she just wants to make sure he learns to "collaborate"

I said "collaboration is important. But so is recognizing when you're the only one doing the work. He'll learn that again in college. And again in the real world. Might as well start now."

Nobody spoke

The teacher closed her folder

She said "I think we've covered everything"

I said "one more thing"

She braced herself

I said "his reading is above grade level. His math is strong. He asks hard questions and corrects mistakes when he sees them. I just want to make sure this school knows what it has."

The teacher looked at me differently

My wife looked at me differently

I said "that's all"

We left

In the car my wife was quiet

Then she said "he's turning into you"

I said "is that a good thing?"

She didn't answer

From the backseat he said "dad, why does the teacher count off for asking questions? Isn't that the whole point of school?"

I looked at my wife

She looked out the window

I said "yes. It is."

He said "I don't think she likes when I'm right"

I didn't say anything

Neither did my wife

Small chairs

Color-coded tabs

No follow-up items

But the kid's going to be fine

Sent from my iPhone

[Obsidian_Rose @Obsidian_Rose1]

@nickimoraa From the replies below guess where men sit...

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

Went running so I could grab a bourbon. There's a family behind me that will not stop complaining. Won't stop talking about everything pissing them off and everyone being an idiot. I cannot imagine being that miserable in life.

[StacIE @EnvyInOhio]

I think my 2026 goal is to see if a single man is normal.

[bryan 🌉 #KaydaFC @bryarea]

just met a cute girl at the wedding i’m at

like actually cute. objectively dangerous face card.

we’re talking. vibes are immaculate. she’s laughing at my jokes. i’m in my bag. aura farming effortlessly.

then sports get brought up, she says it

“i watch baseball”

my ears PERKED up

i played it cool. i said “oh nice, what’s your team”

she said “i’m a giants fan”

and that’s where a normal person would’ve said “cool, me too” and gotten her number

but i am not a normal person

my brain instantly went into terminal mode and i said “what do you think of the rotation”

she looked confused

i kept going

“mahle and houser? are you fucking kidding me? houser gave up 2 in 3 innings and i’m supposed to watch him for the next 2 years? instead of gallen or imai? i’d usually say i’d rather let the young arms throw but don’t even get me started on birdy and whis”

she laughed nervously and said “what”

and i said “don’t even get me started on luis arraez”

she said “what”

and i said “so do you even follow the team”

she said “I literally have a luis matos jersey.”

the vibe was GONE

just vanished. nuked. just like matt chapman’s bat with runners in scoring position.

her friend pulled her away. she didn’t look back.

i was standing there alone at a wedding holding a drink i wasn’t even sipping, doing MENTAL MATH on how someone could claim to be a giants fan and think this team had anything but the worst offseason ever

my cousin walked over and said “bro she looked just like your ex what happened”

i said “she”s a casual”

he said “so?”

SO???

i then realized i would rather cut off my entire family than to share a bloodline with someone of the same species that couldn’t comprehend this

she had a pretty face but a DISGUSTING perspective on life that i just couldn’t get behind

could’ve had her number

she could’ve been the mother of my children

COULD’VE.

but now at least she knows i know ball

and honestly that’s worth more