Erin Mahoney

I’m nicer on Facebook

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

Not me watching all of Nicholas sparks movies to feel something again lol

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

I’m not asking for much, just that Taylor swift invites me to a football game

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

Honestly I couldn’t imagine getting married cause I don’t know any dude I’d want to spend a week with on a honeymoon alone. Sounds boring

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

Someone actually just told me they were up early walking their car and meant it

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

High thought: “so if you live in the country and really far from a grocery store, can you not get ice cream bc it would melt by the time you get home… that would suck”
*shovels ice cream in mouth*

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

@JennyAnTheBets Well I have strep so….

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

I think this nurse is hitting on me. She told me I had soft tonsils…

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

I’m eating alone at a restaurant for the first time in my life treating myself after buying a car. This is adulting and I am sure fucking enjoying not talking to anyone and knowing i can get my ass up when im done and drive home IN MY NEW CAR

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

Guys his face is black and blue
*bows proudly*
Thank you. Thank you.

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

😊

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

Imagine me, a small child, knocking someone out and thinking it was impossible. It wasn’t. Very very possible for a guy to go down. Hey, Don’t cheat. Especially on a bitch like me

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

You know how you normally see dead squirrels and deer n shit in the street, well I saw a dead giant spider so that’s where I live

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

Do you think girls think it’s super cool to post 3 pics that look like they moved half an inch in one Instagram post or….

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

I just came up with the perfect boat name and I don’t want to google it to see if someone already made it up… you ready for this?? Locomocean.

I know right.

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

Remember those sketchy texts that you got that said “if you don’t send this to 10 people you will die.” Well, I never did and now I’d like to remind everyone that I’m a badass. Give credit where credit is due.

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

I’m watching a shit ton of scary YouTube videos about “if you watch this you will die” so clearly I’m a psychopath

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

Haven’t drank alcohol in 3 weeks and I had a couple shots tonight and I’m legit shitfaced. Thank god for ahrocorrect

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

Omg the memes about OnlyFans. I’m cackling 😂

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

If I was mean to you today…… you probably deserved it

[Erin Mahoney @ErMahoney6]

If you’re not watching Kim’s Convenience on Netflix then I don’t ever want to talk to you.