E Alaniz

🇯🇵🇹🇷🇺🇸🇳🇿🇩🇪🇨🇮🇬🇧

[Ian Hartitz @Ihartitz]

Best way to deal with the Brendan Sorsby situation in fantasy if you've already had your dynasty rookie draft:

Have every league member start the weekend with $20 in their DraftKings account. Whoever has the most money by Monday morning gets Sorsby.

[Charlie Parker @cmparker999]

I don’t think people get how nuts a .443 OBP is

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

i no green i dominican papi

[​𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐚 @sunnkssdseraph]

People respect you more when they don't see you often. Even parents. Trust me. It's strange how distance rearranges love, how absence restores what closeness erodes. When people are deprived of your presence, they start seeing you clearly again, not through habit but through awareness. Proximity dulls perception. Space sharpens it. That's just how the human mind works.

[🌅 100 Frœgs of Summer 🏝 @FroegVol4]

You're supposed to let it grow until it looks like shit and then cut it a bit shorter than you want to maximize the time until you need to cut it again

[Denzel Rust @AdemLuz]

Everyone is always rooting for you. Your parents want you to be a great son. Wife wants you to be a great husband. Your boss wants you to be a slam dunk hire. Every first date you’ve ever been on they’ve been rooting for you to get laid. Every time you started to tell a joke people hoped it would have a hilarious punch line. Your proximity to anyone is a reflection of themself, meaning the deck is never stacked against you, and your failures are completely your own

[Matt Van Swol @mattvanswol]

🚨WOW!!!

Tim Sparks has confirmed he purchased 80 PIZZA HUTS and brought back EVERYTHING that made them iconic!

Pac-Man is back.
Salad bar is back.
Red cups are back.
Booths for families.

"I want to rebuild places for families to connect and put their phones down..."

[Bummer T. Vibes, Esq @VibesBummer]

When I’m eating shared nachos I’m always thinking 3 nacho moves ahead of my opponent.

[Riley @Ri_S_OB]

I can’t get drunk and lose Pro V1s at a data center

[E Alaniz @EricAlaniz9]

@Kuriositykills I’m working on it now, but I was ghosted by my counselor and the whole St. Petersburg office the last 2 months. Got lucky and found this number on Reddit this week, I spoke to them yesterday and got a lot of info, they’re opening a case. I’ll let you know how the process moves!

[𝓐𝔂𝓸✯ @shefwayo]

me when I find out that a person from season 3 of my life knows a character from season 7

[ReTeairTarted @adub2142]

Justin Herbert .6 seconds after the ball is snapped

[Spieth’s “inner” Dialogue @SpazzyMind]

13yr old nephew asked me how much I bench lol.

Bench press? Got no clue lil man, doesn’t matter. How far do you hit your stock 7 iron tho? Let’s focus on shit that matters.

[Wizely 🫥🌙 @Wizelycook]

Bron on a generational run with these memes dawg

[Steve Schale @steveschale]

Excited to announce my new role as global ambassador for the RAV4 and that I’ll be playing their prototype irons

[Ray Mond @AmberRayz]

When you wake up hangover AF and realize the big 3 made it back home safely!

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

This is crazy 😭😭

[supernatural aesthetic @spn_aesthetic]

When the duo is so goated that they reunite in a different show

[cait | spntor 𐚁. ݁₊ @destielism]

this is my avengers endgame

[omeo 𖤐 @ihyomeo]

I get… mad zooted I got this bad thing I recruited