Erin McCarson

I'm just a girl, standing in front of cats, asking them to love me.

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

We don't talk about Jada no no no #Oscars2022

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

@Kia When will your support page work again? I'd like to submit my recall paperwork. As an international company, it's sus that you can't keep your support page live. Almost seems... intentional?

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

My infant's first word is going to be '39'. #thebachelorette

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

Has anyone asked #petersmom how to beat #COVID19 because she definitely knows. #barbisthenewkaren

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

Space Farce, amirite?

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

#cats #catsthemovie #faceapp #russia #help https://t.co/h7VLO4Qmye

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

Naked bofries, @Bojangles1977 fries without any of the famous seasoning, are just gross greasy potatoes that ruin your car fries experience. Come on, Bo. I trusted you! #imnotmadimjustdisappointed

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

Just trying to love myself the way @jvn would want me to.

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

Ain't no dookie like a Thanksgiving dookie cause a Thanksgiving dookie don't stop! #Thanksgiving

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

Get off my tv, ya gross orange fuck! It's Bachelorette night! #youruineverything #ihateyou

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

Let me be the 5,753,835th person to tell you that you must watch HANNAH GADSBY: NANETTE. @Hannahgadsby Thank you for sharing. Humanity first!

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

Our neighbor rang the doorbell after 9pm to give us a piece of our mail that was in her box. SLIDE IT UNDER THE DOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT HIDDEN IN THE CLOAK OF DARKNESS LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN, YA WEIRDO!

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

I took an unflattering mistake front camera selfie and learned my nostrils aren't symmetrical. I'm asking for privacy and space during this difficult time of grief and self-discovery.

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

I just want to give a shout out to the seams in my work pants. Yall work harder than anyone I know and I appreciate you. ♡

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

In which I acquire https://t.co/impmLolJdd* and get people to give me money to subscribe then it's just my cats walking past the camera every once in a while.

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

HEY VALENTINE, CAN I CALL YOU CEFDINIR BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO WRECK MY PUSSY.

#Valentine #antibiotics #LoveintheTimeofFluSeason

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

#fuck45 #pissingcontest #drumpf #takeawayhistoys #goodoldfashionedduel #heisanactualnutjob… https://t.co/HtFg3nAFvr

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

I have so so much to do! Today. Right now.

*lies in bed and goes on Insta deep dive to see what the Dance Mom kids are up to these days*

[Erin McCarson @ErinMcCarson]

*throws open the shower curtain*
I'M NOT JOSIE GROSSIE ANYMORE!!!!