The best orgasm of my life was during my rape
I think this is something important to say because I’m tired of thinking I’m broken and I know many other women have experienced something similar.
During rape, it isn’t exactly typical for a women to orgasm during, but it’s not uncommon. It’s reported as having happened by many women, and likely so many more orgasmed but never said anything about it. I am one of these women.
I was raped when I was 20 years old. I was fingered where I orgasmed very quickly, and then was penetrated with his penis. After about 5 minutes of it, I had what I think is the most powerful/best orgasm of my life. He knew I came both times and it was humiliating. He told me he knew I liked it and that my cries for him to stop were just me being dramatic. The second time more so as I was literally shaking and unable to speak from the intensity of the orgasm. This of course sent him over the moon. This 20 year old woman just came on his penis after trying to tell him she didn’t want sex. He must’ve felt like a sex god.
Shortly after he finished he gave me his number and disappeared. I have never spoken to him again. I didn’t go to the police as I was convinced I enjoyed this and it wasn’t a violation. About 4 months ago, I confided in my therapist this secret. She told me that this isn’t uncommon.
When the body is threatened with death, we go into survival mode. We as women have anti rape defense mechanisms. One of those being our orgasm. When a rape victim orgasms her body is lessening the/mental anguish, making the vagina more lubricated so that the act of sex is less painful, and grips the assailants penis to bring him to orgasm faster.
My body did this to help save me, my body knew what would get me out of there alive and did it. I spent years thinking this wasn’t a rape or that my vagina was broken to enjoy that, but it worked as designed.
I want to share this story so other women know, you are not broken. You did not enjoy it or ask for it.
Your body did what it needed to do to survive.
I said no, I shook my head away. He forced me on my back and got on top of me. I didn't fight back. I stayed there as he kissed me, groped my breasts, roughly touched my genitals, and grinding at me with clothes on. At first, that was it. After feeling empty and just going blank, I finally pushed him away and got up, deciding to just stay silent and fight his weak advances off.
Guess what though...!! That wasn't everything. A few minutes of me just sitting still while staring at the sky, feeling my emotions flip from emptiness to anger over and over again, he finally just forced me down again. I still felt empty here, not really fight back. I didn't care about anything. When he had removed my undergarments, and removed his pants, i laid still and stared at the sky.
But then, it hurt. It hurt, and it all felt real. I had lost my virginity to a man I didnt even properly actually ever look at. It felt like shit, the type of shit where you want everyone to just jump off and die. So, i finally fought, i punched and scratched at him until he got off. I shouted at him, cursed him out. He treated it all lightly, but honestly? I couldn't care any less any more. Anyways, I know this is pretty long and though it isnt really the full story, idk I just wanted to get atleast part of it out so here it is. Thanks, I dont know what the point of this post it.
I made an excuse that i was waiting for my friends and all that, but i never really said no to him staying or smoking beside me or anything like that. At first, i was scared, but that only lasted for a few minutes. There was something else within me that yearned. I wanted to be taken advantage of. I wanted to be groped. I wanted to be forced. I wanted to live with more trauma than I already had. So, I felt a switch within me, a switch that led me to have just have no care for whatever he was going to do to me.
First hour of him just talking to me, kids came to the hill to play around but left after awhile. There, he immediately escalated and started talking about how he hated muslims (??? random i know but its just weird cs he wouldnt elaborate) and that I was beautiful and that he had no wife. Suddenly, he started asking me to marry him, and when i said no, he at first was all like "okay i wont force you" and shit, but then he started asking me to kiss him and that he wanted to kiss me.
The following conversation evolved into her telling me that the thought of me having my way with her while she was unconscious was a huge turn on. She told me that I can do whatever I want to her limp drunk body as long as she woke up clean.
It was weird at first, raping my wife. I've probably done in close to 20 times by now and it gets less disturbing every time. And every morning that she wakes me up and makes me tell her about it dissolves whatever residual guilt was left.
So there's my confession.
I know the word "rape" is a huuuuuuuge trigger word and I realize that I've just used it like a dozen times in a lighthearted context so if anyone is offended let me know and I'll edit it out completely...somehow...I'm not sure what word I'd replace it with but I'll try.
I can't keep a secret from my wife to save my life so I told her that I needed to tell her something. I was shaking and crying and so so scared. I couldn't come right out and say anything so I waited until she poked around with some questions. I'm pretty sure after a few minutes she was worried that I had cheated on her so I just told her everything.
She laughed her ass off. She said she thought it was "something bad". I told her that I basically raped her, that I took advantage of her inability to say "no" to something that she normally says "no" to. She didn't care one bit. She said she says no because she thinks it would sting her eyes and be gross to get out of her hair and since her eyes didn't sting and her hair was clean she didn't care at all.
All of a sudden I felt him over me and I looked up to see my son. Before I could say a word he penetrated me. I asked him to stop and he told me I was wet so I must like it.
I laid still hoping he would stop and all of a sudden felt a rush through my body as I had an orgasm. He finished moments after and pulled out of me.
I rolled over and laid awake all night after he passed out. In the morning he asked if I was okay and I could barely utter a word. I haven't been able to talk with him or look him in the eye. I feel terrible that it happened and even worse that I had an orgasm. I don't know what I should do.
GRaped by my son
I'm not quite sure where to start.
I have raised my son alone since he was 4. He never gave me any trouble, was a great student, and graduated from college this past spring.
As a graduation gift I told him I would take him on a cruise. It was for 5 days and we had a wonderful time exploring the ship, doing a couple of excursions and shopping.
Well the last night of the cruise we both had quite a few drinks (him more than me), but I went back to the room to get some rest. I woke up to someone getting onto my bed and froze not knowing what was going on. Immediately I felt hands on my body and my panties were slid down.