NoBody

I'm only pretending to be human...

[NoBody @EternalExit]

Woooo! 14 years with this worthless Twitter account!!! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[NoBody @EternalExit]

Dear Walmart: I already hate shopping at Walmart. Please stop letting people stand around at tables trying to sell me fucking phone and cable plans who also then get pissed at me when I just want to ignore them and do my damn shopping.

[NoBody @EternalExit]

I am so tired...of getting stabbed with needles, of peeing in cups, of constantly being second guessed, of no one listening or communicating with each other about my medical care, of having to advocate for myself when I'm so sick I can barely function. I'm so tired.

[NoBody @EternalExit]

2021 has passed, but I still have hope that there is a telepathic military dolphin out there somewhere who can save us from American healthcare.

[NoBody @EternalExit]

There is a bird chirping at 3:37 in the morning. Aren't you supposed to be asleep, my guy?

[NoBody @EternalExit]

My new bottle of shampoo is so heinously stinky that my whole house smells like a Dobbs now...

[NoBody @EternalExit]

Dear Sandwich Guy, it's been 15 years since you last made me a sandwich and I still think about you sometimes. Thanks for always remembering my sandwich. I wish I'd had the courage to ask your name...

[NoBody @EternalExit]

Dear Mega Corp. Thanksgiving is two weeks away, but none of you are willing to sell me Thanksgiving shit because you already have your fucking Christmas shit out! You want me to buy shit. I want to buy shit. PLEASE JUST SELL ME FUCKING THANKSGIVING SHIT FOR GOD'S SAKE! Thanks.

[NoBody @EternalExit]

It's okay to fall apart sometimes. Tacos do it all the time and we still love them. ❤

[NoBody @EternalExit]

I've had a headache for the past two days and I kinda just wanna scoop that area of my brain out of my head so that I don't have to feel it anymore.

[NoBody @EternalExit]

I'm finally watching season 10 of the Walking Dead and these people are still running around in perfectly mowed fields...

[NoBody @EternalExit]

I had a dream that I was at the hospital and mealtime rolled around. I was hungry so I asked for some food, and after a long wait the nurse brought back a ketchup packet and that was it. Pretty good summary of a hospital experience if you ask me.

[NoBody @EternalExit]

This is a terrible life. So painful and miserable. 1/10 would not life again.

[NoBody @EternalExit]

Carpool karaoke, Steve Aoki, Logan Paul. A gift store at the gun range, a mass shooting at the mall...

[NoBody @EternalExit]

When I get really sad, I wrap my blanket around myself really tight like a cocoon and hope that if I cry hard enough I'll turn into goo and metamorphosize into something else entirely.

[NoBody @EternalExit]

I truly hope that one day Keanu Reeves, Ice-T, and a dolphin will bring free healthcare to the world.

[NoBody @EternalExit]

Sometimes I wish I had friends so I didn't have to play Among Us in public lobbies.

[NoBody @EternalExit]

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit. And the vermin of thr world inhabit it.....but not for loooooong!

[NoBody @EternalExit]

I have never felt so alone.

[NoBody @EternalExit]

Why does it have to be this way?