Not Evan Gerwing

Hi, my name is Evan Gerwing, I like to party, girls between 17-18.99 yrs old and taking selfies in the sunlight. Parody account

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

I'm so glad pornhub doesn't have commericals like youtube

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

The best part about striking out with every dude on sat night is the fact I get to wake up and watch the jacksonville jaguars do even worse

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

I don't care how many bombs Rasmus hits. I have the greatest arm from the outfield anyone has ever seen

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

Couldn't be happier to see summer over and HS back in session. I just take my lunch break, head to a school zone and set up shop #96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

I've never came on a girls face before, but I'm sure its a similar feeling as hitting a home run. #96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

Worse strikeout of the night @tlowey9 > kevin pillar #jays #dixons

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

Morning wood? More like morning breakfast

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

Man, that 6 pack of palm bay is hittin me real hard #tangerine #96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

Man, 20 year old LG is dried up if you ask me. #96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

If the drought lasts over a year, you're a born again virgin @tlowey9 #96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

Half your age + 7?? Nahh. Half your age +3 #96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

Man, I finally finger banged her at roady #96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

Man, "hey, she looked 16" #96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

"Man, 2028, ya ill hook up with her' #96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

Man, to be honest, I've never truly understood the "that's what she said" jokes. For obvs reasons. #legallyblonde #96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

Man, roadhouse is my joint on the weekend. Nothing but blondes that are underage. #legallyblonde #96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

"So the Prime Minister runs the country, the Mayor runs the city, what's it called for the guy who runs the province??" #96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

#96's

[Not Evan Gerwing @EvanGerwing]

Hi my name is Evan Gerwing, I like to party, underage girls and selfies