Evan

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

Skipping Stones. It's for the person you hate the most.

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

Did Bill Murray see his shadow today, or what?

[Poetic Outlaws @OutlawsPoetic]

Don't tell them too much about your soul.
They're waiting for just that.

~ Jack Kerouac

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

@megan_ayche @HeathBarBunny 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[The Rib @megan_ayche]

Daily tweet about how @EvanOldenburg and @HeathBarBunny are the coolest to ever do it 🤌🏻

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

How to sabotage fascism? How to sabotage fascism.

https://t.co/7NJAgvpeal

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

@Libby_sig Same, sister

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

How? It's literally in the constitution?

[Acyn @Acyn]

Leavitt: This administration believes that birthright citizenship is unconstitutional

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

I am mad at the government and I don't know what to do about it.

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

My hot take for the year is the Dodgers won't even win their division

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

@FenAhsokenobi Nice! A new one! Good job 👏

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

Idk who needs to hear this but America has never been Great. The promise of America, the theory of America, sure. But we have never lived up to the standards we supposedly set. "All men created equal" "liberty and justice for all" we never did that.

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

@FenAhsokenobi You only have 2? Or is there a stockpile of these? Maybe a couple you break out for special occasions?

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

@FenAhsokenobi Replying to my tweets twice in one week. You like me, don't you 🥰

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

Who over at the blue place?

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

I would like to announce that I am running for Governor of Michigan under the Anarchist Party

[𝐬𝐨𝐯 ᯓ ✈︎ @sovietsoleri]

things keep happening that make me want a cigarette

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

Bring back the guillotine

[Evan @EvanOldenburg]

I just checked again, and yeah, Elon is still a little bitch