Eve Delaney

Big baps, long naps

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

Holding a candle up to the toilet to see if I’ve left skid marks because my lights have broken and I don’t know how to fix == Victorian vibes!!

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

We’re halfway there now guys! 👨‍🍳

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

Would mean the world to me if this tweet could go viral (for once) x

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

@pollybindman That could be cool !

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

The perfect man doesn’t exi- st

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

Clear heads, full butts, can’t lose

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

A man every time I wear a nice dress: “nice skirt”

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

My mum on FaceTime to London

[Vagina Museum @vagina_museum]

We have a new featured artist of the month! Meet @EveDelaney. She create multimedia collages and paintings inspired by topics including mental health, women’s history and chronic illness.

This piece is "Jus de Cranberry"

Buy the print here: https://t.co/Grhhg53gg7

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

Noughties kids: iPads 🤣
90s kids: bubble writing 🥺
Cavemen kids: berries 🤪

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

Two things that make me a grownup: 1) I refer to my acne as “adult acne” 😎 and 2) I pour my bag of crisps into a bowl before I eat them

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

Chronically ill parents all over the country are suffering - I’m sure they had the instinct to get some help from parents/friends but haven’t because they’re following the RuLeS 😇😡😡😡 and staying at home

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

I have genuinely so many funny thoughts on the notes on my phone but I can’t tweet them cus I’m not ready to go viral yet 🥺🥺🥺

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

Woke Dads on Zoom 💖 a stupid Cupid little sketch I wrote with my stupidly hot and stupid friend @JohnTothill

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

Writers in quarantine:
Just the same except Hampstead ladies pond is closed

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

Comedians in quarantine:
- does just the first week of couch to 5K
- moves in with their parents
- talks loudly about “making a yummy brunch” whilst their parents are on business calls
- makes their parents film them doing RaNDOm stufF
- existential crisis

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

An actor in quarantine:
- wants to get back into their theatre roots
- demands the biggest room in the house as their “office”
- reads first page of importance of being earnest
- reads first page of an actor prepares
- emails agent: “I look at acting in a very different way now”

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

@JamesMGCoward Send me the cat one please

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

@JamesMGCoward @JohnTothill @francescobell @dandanemery @paddy_delaney @jackrooke @KittyWordsworth @scarcurtis @Molly_Seymour I’d like to switch mean girls and book smart please

[Eve Delaney @EveDelaney]

@JamesMGCoward @JohnTothill @francescobell @dandanemery 5 perfect films : 1) cheaper by the dozen 2) parenthood 3) almost famous 4) mean girls 5) phantom thread. ty for the nom. Your turn: @paddy_delaney @jackrooke @KittyWordsworth @scarcurtis @Molly_Seymour