Santi 🇨🇴

love ya

[🍸 @martinimeplease]

You’re a sick man if you’d eat pussy for breakfast

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

@hisfavstepdad This was about an irl but we def need a background check and psych eval on your next mans

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

am I toxic? I hear about the stuff some of yalls partners put you through

I’d either be dead or single after that 💀

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

I hope this Airbnb doesn’t have cameras because we fuckin everywhere

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

I’m sick of the recalls bro how hard is it to not sell food with shit in it

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

finally found out who drives the massive truck that’s always poorly parked in my apartment’s parking deck

Fattest woman I ever seen wearing a camo hat

Who would’ve thought

[Walter Ronald Bookes @WhatAreBooks]

@tatithechin she's right

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

Hope it’s terminal for those who are afflicted 🙏

[𝐳𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 @daa_lington]

there’s a “i’m back with my ex” pandemic going on rn

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

94 degrees in September

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

Whenever I needed approval for something I would just paste it in

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

At my first corporate job they gave us a document with the CEOs signature that we could use at our own discretion. Idk how that company hasn’t shut down by now

[Max Spero @max_spero_]

I can’t imagine that our legal system accepts PDF esignature for much longer when this is possible

[Chase @ItsChaseFM]

Something tells me I’m gonna relate to Jason a lot more than I think

[topical fuck storm 𓅃 @frank81832264]

We should add THC and adderall to it and create the Fifth Loko

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

brain feels like a tortellini rn

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

Why is fake blood so hard to find last minute? Ima just use real

[Cartoons Hate Her! @CartoonsHateHer]

One odd gender stereotype that actually seems reverse-true is the idea that men love telling their friends about their sexual exploits in great detail. This definitely seems heavier weighted towards women imo.

[Grace @gracecamille_]

@partiful I hate you stupid ass palantir freaks. Everyone is foaming at the mouth waiting for a better app, ur end is nigh

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

yall get so performative any time a celebrity dies. It’s like you get fomo when you see people grieving

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

I mostly tweeted this so I can quote it when I eventually pass out at some point in my life

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

how do you even pass out just like stay conscious wdym

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

#real

[Santi 🇨🇴 @EverythingSanti]

“Thar she blows” I hear behind me as another couple shooting the hooch spots me getting river head