Evil E&P Empire

Geologist Apologist, Dry Hole Evangelist

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

Let them announce a successful exploration well.

Now have them drill an appraisal that deems the accumulation uncommercial

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

Geologists reading this article:

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

The craziest ex-gf you ever dated could never do what oil prices do…

minute to minute bipolar explosions

But we love her anyway…

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

Oil has the quality of descending you thru all of Dante’s circles of hell in one day

Truly a commodity for masochists

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

Oil has the quality of descending you thru all of Dante’s circles of hell in one day

Truly a commodity for masochists

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

Every ShaleCo’s 5yr Capex plan from 2013:

[zerohedge @zerohedge]

The AI CapEx chart, updated

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

Typical geologist strategy:

Step 1: Shoot a sh*tload of seismic
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Discover oil

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

When you realize you could’ve just built bears, but instead you drilled for oil

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

@the_P_God A couple or a few, maybe

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

@clawrence That smell was me

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

550 miles of range in under 3 minutes

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

@jrs_mesh Nice

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

“Oh you’re a geologist? Name all the dry holes you’ve drilled”

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

v2_FINAL

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

“See that”
“That’s WTI ripping”
“Kinda sick”

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

“Mommy, how did we get rich?”

“Your Dad made 1 commercial discovery followed by 10 dry holes before mgmt realized he’s only good at map colors”

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

Everyone when the geologist walks in the meeting

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

I’ve seen this one before

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

🚨Breaking News🚨:

Executive Order issued by Trump just banned all dry holes.

Geologists everywhere are fuming

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

The face you make headed to work realizing Mariah Carey will pull down $2.5MM this month on a song written in 15 minutes, 30 yrs ago...

[Evil E&P Empire @EvilEnPEmpire]

Landman, but set during the West African offshore leasing boom

It’s got bribes, corruption, murder, big oil, malaria, and lots of aids from all the $10 Guinean hookers