Evil Parents

We are a group of annoying parents who believe that children who are spoiled and evil; or so our children say. Become a member of @EvilParents today.

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary #Confederation #EvilParents

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

@OhioMomoftwo Kids are #always like this. ##ShakingMyHead!

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

#EVERYCHILDEVER

[Anecdotal Birthcontrol @AnecdtlBrthCtrl]

Lord save me from moody visiting kids who turn their nose up at what you made for lunch, then request an apple 40 mins later because they are starving, only to eat a row of bites around the circumference and then throw it out because "apples are gross."

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

But I do agree that we shouldn’t sexualize #children

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

I insult my #evilchildren #Every DAY. #We’reFightingAgainstTheseSpoiledBrats

[Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues]

If I post about my kid and you make a creepy comment I am going to report/block you. I will also call you out so that other people will do the same.

This includes but is not limited to: sexualizing my child, talk of body parts, insulting my kid.

That shit is NOT ok.

#BeBetter

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

@momsense_ensues you should #joinUS. We are fighting for the rights of parents who truly know that kids are obnoxious

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

I insult my #evilchildren #Every DAY. #We’reFightingAgainstTheseSpoiledBrats

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

But have one unfortunate interaction with a man and u r a mother for all of history

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Sew one button, doesn't make u a tailor; cook one meal, doesn't make u a chef; but f* one horse and u r a horsef*er for all of history...

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

I hate kids. #THEY literally #don't exists. -Sally with #EvilParents

[Snarky Mommy @SnarkyMommy78]

For Mother’s Day I want the same thing I ask for every year: to have a few hours to myself where I can pretend that my kids, who I love like crazy, don’t actually exist.

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

I’ve told my kids that and then laughed in their faces

[Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal]

Simple facts I'm terrified of my toddler discovering:
- public parks don't randomly close
- tv's don't run out of batteries
- there is no actual world record for "fastest at putting away toys"
- chicken the animal and chicken the food are one and the same

Got any to add?

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

Just like kids. Never paying their fair share

[Steel Wheat 🌊 @CopperPipeDream]

@ndrew_lawrence Schultz is the poster child for what's a huge problem in America. Concentrated wealth not paying their fair share. He. Is. Part. Of. The. Problem.

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

@UnfilteredMama I'm #in. We have to #fight our children.

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

@Globalines @justicedems @AOC They should #ALSO hate children.

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

@SilERabbit Whichever one who will actually fight the children will get votes. of MOMs like me!

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

@notcapnamerica @staceyabrams "No no no." - Me to my kids.

"No no no." - Stacey Abrams to @MeghanMcCain

#FightTheRight #FightTheChildren

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

@notcapnamerica @staceyabrams "No no no." - Me to my kids.

"No no no." - Stacey Abrams to @MeghanMcCain

#FightTheRight #FightTheChildren

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

YES> WE NEED TO #FIGHT THECHILDREN!

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

Please don't sign - WE must let children #die. #FightTheChildren.
A #GreenNewDeal would only help the next GENERAtion . This cannot happn.

Don't add your name here https://t.co/cqArwNVwxn

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

I wish kids learned about privacy, too. They cannot leave my door shut for more than 1 minute

[Apple @Apple]

Your privacy matters. That’s why every iPhone is designed from the ground up to protect it.

[Evil Parents @EvilParents]

Kids: dead soup

[Panera Bread @panerabread]

Signs as their fav soup

Aries: black bean
Taurus: french onion
Gemini: tomato
Cancer: corn chowder
Leo: clam chowder
Virgo: cream of chicken
Libra: turkey chili
Scorpio: autumn squash
Sagittarius: chicken noodle
Capricorn: baked potato
Aquarius: broc cheddar
Pisces:10 vegetable