CleverMom

I am a nerdy semi-crunchy momma with a head full of grandiose parenting theories, Ma Ingalls aspirations, and an absolutely abysmal track record. Blames wine.

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

God. Dammit. Mr. Noodle. Why the hell do I even bother asking you. #WhatElmoIsReallyThinking

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

GENIUS repurpose!! CD case greenhouses! 😮

Seeds & Sprouts! https://t.co/qi0MnyVd08 via @wordpressdotcom

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

His little hopes have been dashed against my rock hard boobs. #weaning #momlife #AllTheFeels

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

Daniel Tiger's mom wears the pants in the family. Literally. She's the only one with pants. Check that shit out. #momservation

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

Or it teaches you to google it and give up after step 1 because your toddler tries to eat the wax shards flying all over the place #reality

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

Parenting teaches you things, like how to clean candle wax off windows. #momskills #toddlerlife #xmaslightsinmarch

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

I think we can all agree that "Here We Go Loopty Loo" is one of the worst cover songs ever. #TeamHokeyPokey

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

Worst decision of my life: installing wood floors in the entire house despite full knowledge that we own a dog. #cleanfreaksnightmare

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

Always reassuring after paying an arm and leg at a hair salon to come home and hear, "So...what did they do?" #whydoibother

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

The day was long and lacking in naptime-edness. Let the pounding of grape commence. 🍷 #momlife #wineme #clicheanddontcare

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

What's that called when your kid eats handfuls of toilet paper but won't touch his breakfast? Oh that's right, #toddlerhood.
#mommyproblems

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

My only consolation after today's fiasco is that someone else already dubbed themselves one. Thank you @FailedHousewife 😉 #imnotalone

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

When your candle warmer makes your house smell like candy and you want to go all hansel and gretel on the walls. #firstworldproblems

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

It's official. You broke mommy. #toddlerproblems

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

An hour into attempting to get him down for a nap and I'm nearing prenatal ultrasound levels of needing to pee. #mommyproblems #Aaargh!!

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

Found this in my wallet. Fairly accurate indicator of how often I clean out my wallet. #betterkeepit #justincase

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

Confession: based purely on smell I would totally eat some Beggin' Strips. Because #bacon.

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

When everyone is getting turnt up and you're in sweatpants hoping to maybe sneak some extra wine tonight. #parenting #momlife #HappyNewYear

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

@MamaCRK glad to know I'm not the only one with toddler enhanced fashion statements ;)

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

Hmm. There seems to be baby food on my shirt. Should I change?

*scrapes it off with fingernail*

Nope. Good to go! #momlife #toddlerlife

[CleverMom @Evolutionester]

You give me a fat lip with your big ol' bobble head and I get your frozen teether toys. #dealwithit #parenting