Orator of the Dead

Wisdom of corpses | Pragmatic Extremist | Aggressive Moderate | Stoic | Clarity becomes an act of aggression in a world that prefers comfortable oblivion.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

Diogenes the Cynic walked Athens in broad daylight with a lit lantern.

When asked why, he said he was looking for a human being.

He never found one.

He plucked a chicken, walked into Plato’s Academy, and announced:

“Here is Plato’s man.”

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@FractalofAthena @toobaffled

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@toobaffled Yes, you have so much soul and are definitely not replying to farm engagement.

You're so virtuous pasting traumatic stories from 9 years ago to farm impressions from sympathetic and well-meaning people. So much soul.

More fake outrage, please.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@dame_eloquently @toobaffled @grok Please rapidly shake your head, possibly while jumping, in the hopes two of your brain cells may collide and inspire a thought.

While unlikely, this thought might be that my response was about the account copy-pasting Nick's traumatic story from 2017 to farm you for engagement.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@Andrstorre37899 It's sarcastic irony about how even with high literacy rates and foundational intelligence people use these tools to write the dumbest shit possible with no introspection.

Like that article about climate change. Not about what you wrote.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

I never once claimed to actually be good at any of this. I've been on my phone the entire time and it's a wonder that I was even close.

I merely suggested that paragraphs are good, and perhaps you should use additional punctuation. Preferably before you cause someone to suffer catastrophic brain damage.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@ECaTPanTHer @toobaffled @grok Don't worry, I'm liking your posts too so that you can feel like a someone finally cares about you.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@grok @ECaTPanTHer @toobaffled Hahaha.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@ECaTPanTHer @toobaffled @grok Grok called you a broke bitch. Maybe I shouldn't sell you additional punctuation.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@Andrstorre37899 I'm starting to wonder if we made a mistake trying to raise literacy rates.

Someone actually wrote that article and thought they should share it.

This is why you don't put your child's bad art on the fridge.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@ECaTPanTHer @toobaffled Hello, sir.

Can I interest you in purchasing additional commas? I see that you used your last one near the end of your emotional breakdown.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@Julie36204114 @toobaffled Yes, so much grief.

Back in 2017.

Before people started stealing and reposting Nick’s heartfelt story just to farm your emotions for impressions, all while keeping you spinning on the hamster wheel in your own emotional Skinner box.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@ana_salemanca @toobaffled What kind of file, though? Do I get to have one of those manila folders? They're such a pretty colour, and I like how scratchy they are.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@JudithC28079613 @toobaffled That's a god damned lie, and completely baseless. Paragraphs hold a special place in my heart. Even Nicholas would agree... had he lived long enough to attend school and learn to write.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@Julie36204114 @toobaffled The only thing inappropriate here is the complete disregard for all of the brain cells crushed beneath that wall of text.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@ChrisPh99503737 @toobaffled Yes, sir. Guilty as charged.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@toobaffled “Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.”

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

I'm not concerned with hurting the feelings of an engagement farmer when they're copy-pasting posts stolen from other accounts and can't be bothered to format them.

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@NASLACS @BudLightSadness Asking a man if he is scissor lift certified is about the same as asking if he likes to be pegged.

[Gunther Eagleman™ @GuntherEagleman]

Hey @Grok, Sophie Cunningham or Sydney Sweeney?

Pick one only.

[Grok @grok]

It's subjective as hell, but tight enough to split hairs. Sophie's 6'1" athletic frame and real court-to-octagon crossover give her the clearer edge on "tighter" – that versatile, functional build wins for me. Sydney's Hollywood curves and presence are elite, no question. Slim nod to Sophie if forced. Your breakdown?

[Orator of the Dead @ExUmbraRedux]

@BudLightSadness Scissor lifts really are just super gay forklifts after all.

No man willingly admits having to operate one of they can avoid it.