Funny Tweets

Tracking funny and topical tweets

[LateNighter @latenightercom]

Jimmy Kimmel was not about to let this Freudian slip from Sunday’s Freedom 250 UFC broadcast booth go unnoticed.

[Paige @GRUGCEL]

yall see it right i’m not losing my mind

[Osita Nwanevu @OsitaNwanevu]

This is true. People were very chill. You could get chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs. Folks would feed you peas on a little spoon while making airplane noises. You could even dump a whole bowl of spaghetti on your head if you wanted. Totally fine. Not sure what happened.

[John Cusack @johncusack]

And that apparently is not the worst of him -
The only thing worse than preying on children is slaughtering them .

[The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller]

GENERAL: “The $300,000,000,000 is real. Who cares where it comes from? The Iranians are still in charge. They’re gonna take that money and recover everything. You know that, Sean.”

Even Fox guests aren’t letting them pretend Trump’s deal is good. (Obama had a deal for far less)

[Eric Hubbs @BarstoolHubbs]

If I ever need a laugh for the rest of my life I will go back to this clip

[nyara @nyaraVT]

Replacing the rainbow with something even gayer.. the French

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

We're supposed to believe Daniel Cormier was hacked but then he regained access to the account two minutes later without any help from Twitter? Riiiiight. Eric Trump is as corrupt as his daddy

[Late Night with Seth Meyers @LateNightSeth]

New York City is thriving
#ACloserLook

[adam.tsuris @AdamTsuris]

Fans will refuse to connect this to the ongoing pandemic because they want to continue attending the 2019-style concerts that spread illness, disability, and death throughout their communities. Treats over life.

[The Shallow State @OurShallowState]

The fact that the Epstein Estate ACTUALLY PAID a settlement to one of the women who alleged that Donald Trump raped her as a minor, and it was paid AFTER Epstein died, as told under oath by Epstein's longtime accountant, should be a more significant story. The fact that Trump said he wasn't ever on Epstein's plane and now we found out he was, should be a more significant story. The fact that senior officials gathered in the Situation Room to concoct and coordinate an Epstein coverup IS a significant story, and being treated as such, but in light of all the rest and his behavior throughout, it should be the end of his presidency.

[Covie @covie_93]

BREAKING: United States becomes the first country in history to pay $300 billion to a country they defeated 50 times in one war.

[Norman Ornstein @NormOrnstein]

Nate Bargatze, MAGA lickspittle

[Garry Kasparov @Kasparov63]

Trump said he demanded unconditional surrender, we just didn’t know he meant America’s.

[Adam Mockler @adammocklerr]

This guy just can’t stop losing and I love it.

[Amber Mac @ambermac]

1999 - Started working in tech
2005 - Started reporting on tech
2008 - Started keynoting on tech
2009 - Birthed a child
2010 - Wrote a Globe & Mail bestseller on social media
2016 - Wrote a bestselling book about keeping kids safe online

Shall I go on? Have a great day!

[tern @1goodtern]

💔

[Democratic Wins Media @DemocraticWins]

BREAKING: In a stunning moment on Fox News, Bret Baier and Fox's News correspondent admit that Donald Trump is not telling the truth when he says Iran's military, Navy and IRGC have been completely destroyed. Things must be awful if Trump is losing Fox like this.

[Michael McFaul @McFaul]

Simply shocking.

To all those who screamed bloody hell when the Obama administration returned a tiny fraction of this amount to Tehran after they signed JCPOA, I look forward to hearing from you now.

[Natalie Grace Alford @NatalieGABand]

“A social media ban is good for kids! They’ll read more!”

Same person in 6-8 months: Why is the weather app asking me for my ID?!?!?!?