Glenn B

Occasionally tweets bad jokes. Maybe an observation or two.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

What do butterflies use to support their buildings? Caterpillars.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

Can one parrot carry a bushel of bananas? No, but toucan.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

Lady tried to sell me odorless perfume at the mall yesterday. But I wasn’t buying any of her non scents.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

What do you call a polite napkin? A thankerchief.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

Used to work in a hotel, only lasted sixty seconds in house keeping. Just a Minute Maid.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

Friend of mine used to make time for a yoga class once a week. Told me he recently had to quit. He was finally stretched to his limits.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

@croywiggin @phj_dash Land about 4 shots too! Aims gettin better!

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

Why did they flight crew ground their young jet? It had bad altitude problems.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

Why do hipsters prefer mini fridges to full size refrigerators? They’re a little cooler.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

Wanted to start a spice garden. Couldn’t find the thyme.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

The police were recently called to break up a meeting of the writers guild. They were creating a huge scene.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

Pretty sure my tailor is a magician. Every time I go to him he asks me to pick a cardigan.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

Finding the right contractor to build a new movie theater is a long screening process.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

5 Fastest land predators in the world
5 Coyote
4 Cape hunting dog
3 Lion
2 cheetah
1 Instigator

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

Tried to take my stand up on the road. Too many cars kept hitting me.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

The beach asked the ocean if they still had plans to meet at their usual spot. The ocean replied shore.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

George Washington Carver once tried to create a helmet made of peanuts. After many failed attempts he finally admitted defeat and gave up. When asked why he gave up after being so adamant about it. He responded simply, “Headstrong, peanut brittle”.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

My friend has a job designing new sandwhiches. He’s a sub contractor

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

Why did the photographer get involved in day trading? They already had a stock portfolio.

[Glenn B @ExpletiveUndone]

I’d tell more dairy jokes, but they’re too cheesy.