The "hardmode" that you feel within your own of your life (and moving it forward) isn't even real. It's simply the ghost-projection of all the old authority figures that told you that you can't do something, shouldn't do something, won't be able to do something
Really think about it. There's quite literally nobody stopping you. You could literally, right now, decide what you wanted to do, take steps to do it, and actually achieve it. There is NO limiter. Nobody waiting around the corner to slap your hand when you start to move.
Once you fundamentally understand that, you see the thing you're fighting is your own psyche. But that thing is ALSO you. Your "super wall stopping you" is literally your own mind. You must genuinely see that. And once you do, you can grab it's hand, and walk forward with it.
Your mind is trying to keep you safe. But your current definitions of what's "safe" for you have been artificially constructed/downloaded into your psyche as a kid from people with small/fragile mind/paradigms.
Reclaim your psyche by saying YES. Reclaim YOURSELF by proving to yourself you can do it & be okay. Break through the wall of fear. Blast through the other side of it, open your eyes & take a breath. "woah, it was always fake. it was always ME".
You are the authority of your own life. You make the rules for how you operate. They don't want you to win? They don't want you to grow? Fuck em'.
Not your problem
u want to view doing "hard" / "social risky" things like an upward trend on a scatter plot. at first u miss a lot, but then u miss less & less until missing becomes a non-problem for you unless you shred all of ur momentum
People think the reason they can't do the stuff they wanna do is because there is some magical switch that needs to flip within them, and when it does, life will be on easy mode forever. NOT how it works
Doing all the shit u need to do that will actually change your life (aka taking the chances you need to take socially) - whether that be launching a biz, approaching a stranger, speaking publicly, creating something & putting it out there, etc) - is a process of "taking who you are now & what you have now & sludging it imperfectly forward through the shame & fear"
There is NO magical moment where it feels great or right. Ever. Only in hindsight. When you DO IT, it always feels like its not the right time & you are severely unequipped to do it NOW. But that's just how your brain works. Welcome to the club.
The difference though, is your RELATIONSHIP to that feeling. Everyone feels like you do. But some people do it anyway.
The people who get what they want do those things WHILE feeling the mega-shame, WHILE essentially nakedly shame-dragging their unequipped, unprepared retard selves into the arena while they are kicking, crying & screaming. It's like a parent plucking a kid crying on the grocery store off of the ground.
Being social is easy example of this. If you have NO MOMENTUM, and are "cold starting", talking to someone will be hard. U might not even do it the first day. or even the second day. But the third day, you're able to start ONE convo. Boom. You got your first dot on the graph. Then you have ANOTHER that day, and now ANOTHER. You went from zero for 2 days, to 3 in 1 day.
Then the next day you wake up & don't feel good. So you don't do one at all that day again. Then the day after that you feel shitty about yourself so you don't do any again. Then the day after that you feel even shittier so you don't do any again. But then the day after THAT you're like 'what the fuck is my problem', get PISSED, and then you do 15 that day.
People see this pattern reflect everywhere within their own lives & think they have a "problem". Nope. The only problem is your belief/idea that this IS a problem, when it isn't. This is human fucking nature. This is the human condition. Welcome to the fucking club.
Once you understand this & realize you have "everything you need, even right now" - you should have an "oh" moment. You should realize the only thing wrong about you was your idea that you ever had to be perfect in the first place.
This then shifts your psychological target from "perfection" (impossible) to just "shame-sludging something the fuck over the finish line in the dumbest way possible". Ur NEW goal isn't "perfect", it's "just fucking do it".
Then eventually you STRING enough of those together with imperfect patterns/time periods in between, and EVENTUALLY you magically end up right where u wanna fucking be. Is trippy as fuck.
Do you eventually get "better at doing stuff?". 100%, yes you do. But EVEN THEN, this "choppiness" NEVER goes away. It is life. Life is struggle. And that's what makes it so fucking beautiful
Shame-drag yourself to do it today in the shittiest way possible. Just do it, even if its messy/raw/shameful/bad.
just do it