FFG Press Office

Parody account for FFG Coalition in upcoming 2024 Election.
Satire is still just about legal in Ireland. Lets make the most of it!

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

As we hurtle towards another vital election, we are proud to share with you our Manifesto for 2025-2030.

Its been an incredible 5 years with FF, FG & GP (FFG) at the helm, but we are only just getting started. Here we map out our achievements so far and our plans to transform Ireland into a more sustainable global partner.

We hope you are as excited as us for another 5 years of FFG :)

https://t.co/CGeBX2WUkr

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@fiannafailparty @MichealMartinTD And just to be clear; we will not cave in to demands to drop our partnership with Michael Lowry. He will open the door to many financial opportunities for our party and its corporate partners. We can't let the oppositions childish politics jeopardise this - Michéal

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@NewstalkFM Excellent framing Newstalk; we have to continue to convince people that THEY are to blame for their misfortune, and not our neglect of the grid infrastructure and forcing them to give up turf and oil so they are cold and miserable during these increasing blackout events.

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@john_mcguirk Hi John, When you have been in power for so long it sometimes gets a bit boring. We sometimes like to pretend we are in opposition because it is more exciting and can tap into peoples emotions more effectively, we trust you can understand.

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@Independent_ie Ireland stands ready to make the right decision. Any young Irish who haven't left for Australia will be sent to the front lines in Ukraine as cannon fodder for the NATO/US proxy war with Russia. We have to show our US allies that we are willing to make great sacrifices for them

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@griptmedia We are proud of our work with the Greens in the last government. The people of Galway may be feeling the cold this week, but they can be comforted knowing that billions have been made by our corporate partners by convincing them to switch over to heat pumps & EVs.

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

A tough day at the office, but we remain steadfast in our commitment to our Independent props who would like to be in government and opposition at the same time. This is an important feature of OUR new modern democracy.

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@rtenews Tough day at the office.

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@IrishTimes Great piece, Justin will be a huge loss to our movement - no other leader had ignored the disdain and objection of his citizens so rigorously. We take great inspiration in FFG by his leadership and commitment to our global partners and their Agenda 2030.

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@NewstalkFM Masculine men are a threat to our democracy. We must suppress their innate urges for freedom and to protect their family & community as this runs counter to our transformative objectives

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@rtenews Judging by the comments the major challenge is clear; the plebs are waking up to the climate scam. Our propaganda is failing, we must go back to the drawing board on this one

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@NewstalkFM Luke understands how to make money. As the vaccine grift dries up he must pivot hard to climate change as he knows this is where the money is for the coming few years. We admire this man’s ability to trash all over science to generate profits.

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@thejournal_ie Guys it’s been an amazing year and so many stand out performers, but looking back I think there is one clear winner this year

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@EUCssrMcGrath @Europarl_EN With the exception of FFG members and our PR agency RTE of course, who must put out disinformation on key policies, during referendum, elections etc. in order to control the narrative.
This is an essential feature of our democracy.

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

Well done Meabh and the Climate Change Council. You are doing stellar work in propagating the idea that carbon is bad and not essential for all life. Next step is obviously personal Carbon Allowances but we’ll have to think carefully about how best to introduce this sensitive topic to the general public

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@griptmedia Someone relatively famous once said ‘you can either have open borders or a welfare state, you cannot have both’

Well we have decided to test that hypothesis, certainly the early signs are that it is true but we’ll see how the next 5 years pan out

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@NewstalkFM It is vital we place green commissars throughout the construction industry and public sector to slow down construction and protect asset prices. More green skills to push SDG Agenda, less engineers to actually build things. That is the future.

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

@EamonnRyan747 @IrishTimes I rubbed point Eamon, massive opportunity here for the shrewd investor. Just don’t get caught on the short squeeze on the way down

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

Timely article Patrick, we are currently exploring the idea of incorporating the Irish republic and listing on the New York Stock Exchange.

This would enable our corporate partners to cash out before the inevitable crash, and enable fresh capital to come in and buy up remaining assets at bargain prices during that crash.

We are proud to innovate new ways to exploit our nation and to unlock billions in unrealised profits.

[FFG Press Office @FFGPressOffice]

Nick we have made it clear numerous times over the past 20 years that the primary goal of FFG is the transfer of taxpayer funds to increase shareholder returns to our corporate partners, by whatever means necessary. The asylum industrial complex is just the latest incarnation of this multi-decade strategy